After that talk with my mother, I feel a little better. I didn't obviously discuss everything that has been bugging me. But, there is something about mothers and their abilities to encourage their children to strive to do better and when the child is willing, to pull them out of the mud, rut or whatever the hell the child is in, and pull them out.
My mother, with her sweet words and gentle face, with soft spoken words and even a silkier voice is usually able to calm me down, quell my fears and whisper the pain away. She has magical abilities I presume, I will also inherit once I become a mother myself. But what she has is more than what all the other mothers has out there. Hers are powered by instinct, like most others. But she has over the yeas honed her skills, she has grown as a person which has affected the ways she has grown as a mother, a care giver. She's polished her God-given abilities and added new items to her arsenal that she didn't possess already. Still, to this day, she doesn't give up, hoping to get more ammunition in the way she faces the world, she greets others into her life and the way she deals with, shall we say, obstacles and people in her life?
My mother has sacrificed much to get to where she has gotten today. She has toiled away permanently in a hostile environment, battling instability, turmoil, turbulent hatred.She is the wisest person I know. Never tugging, pushing, squeezing. Though she had learned much about that too, I presume while raising us. I don't ever think we were one of those kids classified as "easy kids" though my mother is bent on saying that to everyone she knows.
Her sincerity, and her ability to think outside of the box has always allowed me to come to a new conclusion by myself. Though, I am not as great as she is in the action department, she motivates me to the edges of earth, pushing me further than anyone else. I have always had her support (though it wasn't always this easy). I have inherited much from her, thus I should be more thankful (though, I hardly am). She just shows a path, a path that wasn't there before. Somehow, after a long, heartfelt conversation though, I nearly always can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Rediscover the strength with in, huh? Mother?
Thank you.
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