Individual Happiness

I really should start thinking about changing my major to psychology and something concerning human sexuality. Though these two disciples are the endless suppliers of my imagination, curiosity and fascination, I don't think I could ever explain what I do to a Turkish community.

Obviously, I am now armed with more knowledge than I ever could think to amass, though it certainly isn't anywhere near enough with what I would like to achieve. But, looking back though, I am always surprised at myself what I knew through instincts and observation alone and to what I should have known, but didn't even when provided with the information.

I am glad I had been thinking of this way for the past five years of myself. In any given healthy and normal relationship, it's only expected and again, quite normal to turn to your partner of a long time to seek some sort of support, understanding, care and even dependence. Though I don't like to call this entirely a dependence, since as human beings, we're created to depend on others for our survival. We are social animals and take us from a group, a civilization, we lose some of our abilities and suffer great psychological disorders under stress and isolation. We were meant to be mingling with out kinsmen. Regardless though, it is also important to make yourself happy first, so that you can make your partner happy and you can be happy in a relationship as a couple. No matter how much you believe the moods and the life of our significant other does not effect us, it does and it should. If the other person is not happy, you begin to lose the happiness you have at the moment (whether it is from the inability to share it, or whatever else it may be) which eventually effects the way you two are together. This has been demonstrated to me once more as a reminder.

As an individual, I must do what makes me happy and do the things that I must to be a more ground, more healthy individual who can commit the time and put in the effort to have a growing, prosperous and a healthy relationship. If I am not healthy, what I give to the other person then, also is not healthy. Together, we rot away as a result.

I must wake up, we must do our dishes, and during the day we must go about our own business in pursuit of our passions, our dreams and the things that makes us click in all the right ways. The things that emotionally, mentally and psychologically stimulate us. Then we must have a safe haven where we can share those stimulation, the accumulations of the day to teach one another and indulge in the fantasies and the world of the other.

However, if we do not possess a world of our own, in which we are the rulers, or co rulers, or however you would like to hierarchically organize your world, in which your happiness can be individually obtained, where your solemn happiness is only dependent on the other person, it is going to be a long road and a heavy burden for you, for him and for your relationship. No one can carry that for too long, not well enough anyway.

I must be happy myself, for your sake.