Fires of betrayal

Fire of betrayal burns bright and it keeps my eyes open late into the night. There are so many images that flies through, the words that are burned into my ears and the feeling of having been taken as a fool has etched so far into my being, for how many times in a row now that, the anger that dwells within me, this sense of unjustly, unwarranted behavior gets under my skin to my very core where I am afraid of my own thoughts of ointment and remedies. I stare at my own horrid self, unable to reconcile it with myself and afraid to pursue another step, but all of this bottling up...

I am so offended that it feels like a big gash of wound that keeps bleeding. It feels like I have this card board sign up, detailing the story of my insistence on believing rather than giving into my speculations and that that's how everyone has come to see, view and know me as. It feels like everyone has this glimpse of my past where  I am constantly judging myself and feel that others can see my heavy blackened face.