What an emotionally draining weekend this was. My head is about to explode and the whole weekend has been wasted away from the emotional drainage we both suffered and endured this weekend. Overslept, unproductive and we just lounged around the house. We both became scattered brained without a moment to ourselves, our work, walking around eggshells, wondering what the next move is going to be. We're still trying to recover and my guess is by Wednesday night we still will be trying to recover, adjust, accept and embrace. Lucky us!
I will never forgive you for ruining the Friday night date I have carefully set up. I had given so much thought to every little detail you possibly cannot even imagine. Then it lays there in my memory in shambles. You came in between us when I wanted to celebrate our relationship, being together through all the times that had been in turmoil. I wanted to cherish "us" that night, and I wanted to do it in old fashion with a twist. A twist that was bound to have brought us closer. I wanted that night to be as close to perfection as it is humanly possible...yet, here it remains in shards in my hands, one edge piercing through my palms and the other through his. All because of you. Neither one of us deserved it. For as long as I live, I never want to hear your name again. We are where we are after much difficulty, much sacrifice and a whirlwind of a time where we just kept picking up ourselves, or finding ourselves in a certain circumstance, at a corner that we couldn't evade and dealt with it, better than most long term couples. So I wanted us to return to some sort of normalcy, to have regular Friday night dinners. Things, normal, loving couples do.
I don't want to have another weekend like this, at least for a very long time to come. My head still hurts and I feel trapped in a corner, no where to go. I feel even worst, angry for all the psychological torture you have put him through and now me. I want to write you a long spiteful email, but I refuse to sink down to your level too. We need a vacation.
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