Will I see the light at the end of a tunnel, eventually? Will I ever catch the train at the right time, the first time around, understanding it's value and worth without losing it first and foremost? Will I get to where I have always been dreaming about? Everything seems out of place, out of order, and lost in this chaos, sometimes my goals feel close and at other times, everything that I have ever wanted to accomplish feels lost in this endless sea of my thoughts and in the circumstances that I have been living in...day to day. I am a little tired of that.
A little bit more of me goes away to the sea that I can't seem to recover once more. It feels like I am always battling just to keep my head above the water. It's a battle just not to drown. Trying to hold on to a piece of wood, afloat seems like a difficult thing to conjure up at this moment. It takes way too much faith that I actually do not possess at the moment. It feels like I am never getting there. An endless stream of obstacles that delays the inevitable. Afloat I go on.
I guess I am feeling very pessimistic about this whole thing. I miss being in school. I miss the vigorous academic work, the smell of old school buildings, the rush of trying to make it from one class to another and the mental exhaustion one goes through at the end of the day. I miss school.
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