And, I just could not take it anymore. It all got so difficult.I had been battling with this on the inside, thinking it, then over thinking it and later on it turned into scripting, writing and then acting out. You might think it sounds healthy, but it's not. It's like I am possessed and I don't want to do any of those on the list above. The thing is I shouldn't have to. This could have been solved and the big snow bank could have been stop, miles ago, ages ago should someone had cared enough to do so. It's just that at this point I am inclined to make the conclusion that some people, particular in my life, like particular snow banks even though they don't understand how deeply their actions, words, gestures, the nonsense and insulting conclusions and assumptions, their sole existence hurts me.

Then for days, I battled with the tears, the urge not to cry and crying over stupid things, other than what I really wanted to cry about. The pain that seems to be roaming free, caged within my heart, as it tramples on it's floors, walls and ceiling.

I broke down and cried several times to several people, my heart bleeding and it isn't in my heart to pretend there is nothing wrong when I obviously feel something is very wrong, or that I am being deceived and lied to.

I want an erase button for you.