Hmm...

It's strange to think about--at least for me. Thinking about how school has evolved and the struggles many students have overcome in bringing them education world to where it is today. How and exactly when has school gotten so important that without we can't seem to exist as independent thinking individuals. To find a decent job without a four year degree is near impossible. To get into schools is like the battles in Odyssey. In all of this, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I am loss in the chaos I have quite created by myself, the mess I have made quite unconsciously, but on certain levels and certain time periods, quite deliberately and consciously.  Now, I don't know what to do in order to clean it up, how to clean it up and it feels that it is quite possible that it is actually impossible to clean up after this time. I will live on strings, that are dark, hard, tense and long, trying to balance between the wound and where it hurts the most, while inching towards a goal that seems near nonexistent.