Poetry Journals

In May of 2010 I began to collect all of my poems. Okay, maybe I need go to back to the beginning, since this barely makes sense to me.  All the way to the beginning.

In elementary school, like every other kid in school I wrote, I love you mommy, Mr. Sun and what not poems. Then I stopped until high school. In high school, I wrote, mostly strange poems and most of them about my first love ever, childish, romantic and cliche. But it is what it is. So, at home, I have a notebook full of poems for HIM. I can't believe so much time has gone by since then. I can't believe I no longer am 15. Ten years since then. Anyway, I spent most of time on my poems, which were usually on him or how confused I was about the whole world and how I was going to change my world. Why I wrote so much on him, I haven't the slightest clue. I was probably trying to figure out my own feeling, at least that is my assumption. It is what I think it is now that I am thinking and trying to decipher through it today.

In and out of college I wrote here and there, in my note books, loose leaf papers, print out papers and on the back of my shopping lists. Much to the annoyance of my professors, my assignment sheets and binder covers, phone books and well, just scraps of paper really.  Most of them are now lost to me, aside from a few.

In 2009 I made the conscious decision to be an aspiring writer. Really it was a spur of the moment decision, which really evolved in the months following. And later dwelled within me, which grew as seedlings and when it reached all the way to the sky, it needed more space and it decided to grow further out after it had conquered the skies and I began to change my life around in order to develop healthy writing habits and later to suit those writing habits. Things kind of began a circle that feed one another and while things happened one at a time, they also happened simultaneously. So I don't always remember exactly what happened and where. But it all started with poetry. First I started to collect my poetry in composition notebooks and then the stories emerged on their own and I began collecting them too. (Don't get me wrong, I had written short-stories before too. But poetry was what initially started everything back then and in 2009).

Since 2009 I've been writing poetry. Since May 2010 I've been collecting them, neatly, carefully, laboring over them as I would labor over my children. I know, the comparison is odd for many, but really, this is how I feel. I date each and every one of them. I don't dictate what I will be writing about before hand. Just whenever I get the urge to, I just write. There are times where I write several pieces a day, then there are days, weeks, and even months where I don't write a single word down. It collects on it's own, culminates and then finishes before I realize it. Since May 2010 I've finished three complete composition notebooks. On April 17, 2012 I began my fourth poetry journal much to my delight. It feels like such a big accomplishment that I am proud of. Sure, none of them are edited in any way. None of them are published. I don't think many of them has even potential to be a good poem. There must be only one, or two, NOT THREE, just one or two poems in each poetry collection to suffice as an average poem. That's about it. That tells you the end of my skill and capacity.

What am I proud of then? I am proud because I was able to continue with a principal I had decided to adopt. I was able to continue it and I was able to do it over two years. For someone like me, that's a big deal. It contains all sorts of memories and my very cherished feelings. They are so valuable to me. These are the things that made me feel enough to write about it, the things I went through whether it be good or bad. They are all parts of me as a finger, a nose, an eye would be. They are all extremely precious for me. It traces my adventure as a writer, my toils as a human being. Much like a journey.

It's also a reminder of being at the very beginning of the road, having much growing up left and that also, it is all very doable if I just decide to stick through it and deal with it. It is possible if I decide to endure it as the necessary sacrifice to write.

If you are an inspiring writer, start your own poetry journal and witness your own growth both as a person and as a writer as the years roll and the pages turn yellow.