Berra's shower is coming up. I have to travel to Rochester. In a way this is going to probably set me back as I will have laxer conditions, no ability to go whatsoever to the outside world without the handy car of my mom, which is always with her due to her own business. It could be conducive to start reading seriously once more. It would give peace to my inner world once more, at least enough to quell it.
Though I am afraid to travel. I don't want to travel in this condition, thought that might be the best thing I need yet. Have the ripples settle down and come in to some sort of understanding, mutual exclusivity that holds my heart down. Some contact with the outside world might me what I need to realize the truth and accept reality, after all.
I don't want to be in Rochester in this condition, but I don't want to miss this opportunity to be there for my mom, for Banu and Berra. It is also going to be the first time I am going to be leaving Salih at home, by himself for a long time, without being able to see him. I don't know how we're going to react to these premises. I am a little nervous, a little excited and a little sad.
Rochester, wait for me.
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