Appreciation

Such a simple word that must eventually go through our minds at different points in our days and our lives. We expect others to appreciate us for the things that we do and sacrifice and in turn many of us appreciate others. But, how do we really do it, if we do it at all matters immensely. Sometimes what we expect as a thanks differs from those of others. While we expect others to thank us in the way we would like to be, meeting our expectations we often forget about others' expectations of our gratitude and how we should show them. Problems arise and people often get hurt over things that should truly bond us to each other.

Sometimes we think the world of our gestures, actions and words. As a result we think we ended up accomplishing something so great and so valuable that no matter what the recipient will do, just cannot repay it in words or in any other way. However, in some of those times, our acts cannot be repaid so simply or at all-- that is honestly the truth. Some of those times we do such grand gestures and give up such fundamental principles of our beings that no matter what, it cannot be paid. We must truly be appreciative of such heroic and brave acts and show our gratitude in more than just words such as "thank you". 

Of course this isn't always the case. Actually, that's not even the case most of the time. Usually the gestures we think that are so grand, aren't as grand as we originally thought so, and usually a thank-you card can suffice. Such common etiquette shows us the right path to follow. Often, a warm smile followed by a heart-felt sincere "thank you" suffices our debt.

At least we'd like to think so. Life though as simple as it may be is often complicated by our own rational decisions and emotional take within those decisions and actions. It's easier to appreciate the small gestures that strangers do for us, like opening the door to an elderly couple, giving your line in the grocery store to a pregnant lady, when driving leaving enough space for another car to drive out of a gas station. How about the sacrifices we make and are made for our sakes? How do we and how should we appreciate them?

I'll be the first one to argue of the difficulties people living together will have. I have been living on my own for three years now (I love it!) and will always fiercely advocate the advantages of living alone, by yourself. I am one of those passionately alone souls (never lonely though). Living with someone else just doesn't quite work out for me. When married and in a family, living together causes too much stress. We often don't appreciate and cannot fully show, nor do we incline to show such gratitude in our hectic lives, where we are often too focused on what we have been giving up and will continue to give up from our lives, selves and youth. Then, the tension culminates from there on out.

I'll give an example, most of us, men or women, married or unmarried has to work to get by in this world (unless by some divine luck you have been born lucky enough to not have to work due to immense family fortune; even then, you would have to work in order to deserve or continue to keep such fortune) and we are often stressed by our eight our work days that usually ends up longer than that. When we come home, putting away the dishes may always fall on the other spouse. We might not think much of it but even things like that needs a show of appreciation, because after a while it ends up becoming a weight that will eventually be in need of dropping. One suppose might have to do all the driving, dropping, picking up the other to lower their living costs. While we expect that particular spouse to drop us off at the exact time and pick us up at the said time, whenever they're late we throw tantrums and create storms. In our own lateness though, we just expect her or him to accept it with a smile. I know of a couple where both the wife and the husband works all day long, until the wee hours of the night, literally till nine or ten o'clock. However, the husband comes home and it's clock out for him. He expects the dinner to be prepared set on the table for him and he won't even wipe the table down. He'll sit there for the rest of the night, on the floor in front of the T.V. sipping down his beer, without even caring about anything else she might need help with around the house. When he eats, he'll peel off the onions and leave the those parts on the counter as it is. His beer glass and bottle will just collect on the floor where he sits. Any thing he uses in the kitchen, instead of putting it in the dish-washer, ends up on the counter. He won't touch anything, waiting for her to clean it up and later will complain about the door bell she rings because her hands are full with the grocery bags. He'll scream, do I have to open the door to you. I haven't seen this much laziness. He is not the one who mows the lawn, shovels the snow away, or gets the cars to maintenance. While I am aware that this is an extreme case, no matter how much this is taken from real life it lies on one radical end of the spectrum.

How do you show your appreciation and gratitude to the person you live with, the person you're supposed to walk with hand-in-hand in life, embracing the storms of life? It doesn't just happen by helping cleaning up and paying the bills unfortunately, although that does help some, better than nothing at all. But the gratitude we end up showing, do they meet our own expectations and those of the one that is helping us? If not, should we just damn them to hell, or bend down to their expectations?