Another year where Muharrem came and is nearly out of passing. Unfortunately, due to having recently started a new job, I have become unable to seek my seclusion I had planned on taking the previous year. You can imagine the disappointment and betrayal I feel at myself currently. It's also have become much more difficult to continue and uphold the other aspects of the mourning fast that is held during the first 12 days of Muharrem. I feel guilty and there is this rotten egg smell inside of my soul I can't seem to avoid with my inability to upkeep the very things I had promised over my soul to hold, honor and cherish. It's unfortunate that this year, we're struggling just to hold our heads above water and to feel lucky to have come to an end of another day. I had imagined everything to be so much different than the reality of today. A lot of unplanned things happened that has crippled me into inability, passiveness and sheer game of catch up with sacrifices here and there made for the sake of attaining the ability to moving on and getting on with another day.
How sad.
No comments:
Post a Comment