Full Circles

And I've come back a full circle. I've ended exactly where I started off three and a half years ago. It seems like my life (like everyone else's) is just a repetition of themes that has been decided long ago. The invisible hand of the free market seems to have moved into my personal market of miseries, sorrows and lessons to be learned and relearned.

So what is different from the last time I stood at the beginning of the circle, started to draw a wider circle than before. Which inevitably, this time around the circumference will be larger. There aren't many changes, usually they're minor exception of one big thing; I'm on my own now; sometimes it makes a little difference, sometimes it makes a world of difference.

Yesterday night, there was melancholy in reminiscence. I am not particularly fond of realizing the one thing I wanted to hold on to just slipped through my very hands, eroding as I paraded it around in my hands for everyone to see.It was bitter to come into recognition and realize what I have lost cannot be replaced ever, or replenished as the well has long been dried up beyond repair or leaving any hope for a possibility of recovery.

So then, what is left and what do I do? Particularly not much. I learn from my mistakes, wait until my bruises fade away and continue to gallop around my widening but more threatening circles of life, themed far beyond my plotting and without the ability of my interventions.