Another obstacle, another break, another set of bad news. My head hurts, will this ever end? Will we ever heard good news? I am just exhausted, want to crawl into a ball, pull over my blankets, cry until my eyes hurt and never get up from the bed.
It's like a never ending cycle of depression. It's persistent, awful and atrocious. My heart keeps breaking into pieces and I feel more out of touch sometimes, no matter how hard I try. Every morning Everyday I wake up, go through my rituals and the necessities of being alive. But there is a harrowing hole in my chest, that keeps growing bigger. I feel hallow, emptied and vacant. I can't seem to be interested in anything. I go through the motions of smiling, greeting, caring, answering and asking questions of pretending that there is absolutely nothing wrong even though my whole world is caving underneath my very feet and I have no idea where I will be falling.
I've been rejected from everything, so much that it feels as if, I am condemned and forgotten. No matter what I hold dear, what I painstakingly nurture, crumbles to ashes in my very own small palms, with nothing but burn marks left. The scars to remind. At this point, everything seems to go negative, everything seems like a challenge. At the end of the day, I don't even want to come back home, because it no longer feels like a home. Our home has become a storage room for our boxes. There is a little less than a month left, and I can't wait to move into our new apartment. There is literally, only that left we're counting on.
It's like a never ending cycle of depression. It's persistent, awful and atrocious. My heart keeps breaking into pieces and I feel more out of touch sometimes, no matter how hard I try. Every morning Everyday I wake up, go through my rituals and the necessities of being alive. But there is a harrowing hole in my chest, that keeps growing bigger. I feel hallow, emptied and vacant. I can't seem to be interested in anything. I go through the motions of smiling, greeting, caring, answering and asking questions of pretending that there is absolutely nothing wrong even though my whole world is caving underneath my very feet and I have no idea where I will be falling.
I've been rejected from everything, so much that it feels as if, I am condemned and forgotten. No matter what I hold dear, what I painstakingly nurture, crumbles to ashes in my very own small palms, with nothing but burn marks left. The scars to remind. At this point, everything seems to go negative, everything seems like a challenge. At the end of the day, I don't even want to come back home, because it no longer feels like a home. Our home has become a storage room for our boxes. There is a little less than a month left, and I can't wait to move into our new apartment. There is literally, only that left we're counting on.
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