Marie's

Yesterday night was strange to say the least. After being on the street for hours on an end, and then visiting my grandmother briefly, Irem and I ended in Marie's to stay the night. This, of course was not a spur of the moment. This was arranged prior to yesterday and had been long time coming as Marie practically begged for us to come and spend some time with her.

So we did yesterday and we shall today again. While I love Marie and her hospitality never ceases me, she's one of those people who will nearly do anything for the love and general well being of her loved ones. My family owes a big thank you to her.

But I realized that I can't be comfortable everywhere, especially on the subject of stay overs. It's difficult for me. I miss my pillow, look for my own bed and covers which makes me feel like at home. This, I take to be one of the reasons why I never seem to be sleeping well when I am visiting my family. It feels like now that I've moved away, my home is the home I live by myself. That is where I belong now. As you can figure out from this post thus far, sleeping was an issue for me yesterday night. Also not having everything with me, only makes it a little more difficult to adapt. usually, I am good at that...adapting. However I look for the warmth of my own home, to place things as I like and to be able to move about, freely unconstrained, which isn't in me to be that way if I am out, staying with someone else. It's just not in my nature. I can't do it. That was a harsh reality that hit me hard this morning when I woke up at seven-thirty a.m.

But to be honest, I have to say I needed the heavy silence. It was freeing. I felt the noise just ooze out of my pores. I didn't have time for myself, but I did have silence. Silence was the greatest gift I could have asked from anyone at the moment. The moody rooms of Marie's home, almost capturing me in one of the Victorian Novels I'm bound to read as I check them off my classics' list. Heavy, somber, cold and silent. While I woke up not so rested, at least my mind had some time to stipulate and come back to it's own senses after the silence.
Silence is something that will elude me for the next six-8 months to come.