Sins of ...

I can't get myself to write out the rest of the sentence. What a horrifying thing this is and I am well, repulsed by myself.

There is just...confusion and hell in future of us. Well this is why people say the stupid shit they say and now, I have become one of them. How befitting. Well, I guess it's better than knowing the alternative. I think that would have even been more heart shattering. Though, I guess since I won't be going through that, I'll never know. It's easy to make judgments without knowing the other side. How ignorant of me.

That's really, truly I can say: How ignorant of me. I just never had foreseen such a catastrophic conclusion, result, end...I just never even once thought that this could truly, really happen. I mean look at the statistics.

Ah, this is just not going to bode well for me. I can tell the next few months are going to be difficult. From decision making to, acting, to solving and the after math. It's just going to be heart wrenching. I never thought I'd be in these shoes. Never. Not in a million years. Well, it has definitely made me more humble. I just don't know if I needed this to be more humble. Such a horrifying way to become more humble.

Everything has sunk in and all I can say is, Oh My Goodness! Whatever am I going to do now? How can I?