Astray

There is this sense of void inside. Something that is wrong, missing, have gone astray, away from its original purposes.

You know the news you receive you're supposed to graciously accept, things that happens to normal people and under normal circumstances it sends them over the moon. New jobs, new positions, addition to family, new cars, new apartments. I can't seem to relate to those news, or identify with those normal people any more. Those are so far away, they almost feel like green alien creatures from bad Science Fiction movies with plot holes and horrible acting, the cheaply budgeted and the horribly written kind.

There is this feeling that one of my ribs have been broken and with it stuck through my heart and then drawn up to my throat where it's lodged neat and tightly there. I can't seem to speak, I can't seem to feel and I certainly can't seem to act like a normal human being.

I know I should. The excused I do throw out are fluff and I know it. Not that I should need an excuse. I just can't get my act together.