Commitment to Write

I've decided the best thing to do is to be committed to my writing and seriously try my hand at publishing this time around. Also, I promised myself that I would do anything necessary to make it through. The next four years of my life will be beyond difficult in terms of achieving my goals. It will be, because I am beginning again, from scratch and trying to build my audience from ground up, and get somewhere.

It is true that I have been seeing myself as a writer, a budding one, but nonetheless, a writer, an unpublished one, but a writer. It is true that I have decided this is the true calling of my life and that I will take my time to getting where I need to be in this choice. However, that is no longer an option when I've realized that writing is one piece of my life that I cannot do without. I needed for an ability to survive and to keep everything else in focus. Because I create tremendous efforts to write, I make it my main goal of the day, so I get everything else in order. Other wise, I know I am not going to get to actually writing a single line. To succeed at writing, my persistence needs to win and my resolve needs to be solid. But that alone is not enough. I need to hone my craft very well. To do that, well I need lots of help.

It's true, I have great ideas. I don't doubt that. Many people and aspiring writers do. The highlight of being a story teller isn't your ideas. It's the stories you tell and how you tell those stories. The style, the narrative, the characters, the structure and plot. The insights. And publishing in 21st Century? Everybody needs help with that. Therefore, I am getting my feet wet with joining a U.W. Mini Course called The Art of Fiction Writing, and it is a class I am excited about. I am very excited to see what kind of writers will be taking this class and what kind of a community I can begin.

But other than that, I don't know where to go. It is true, I work and have been working diligently on my vocabulary and grammar. I continually buy books regarding fiction writing and writing in general and go through them at intervals. I take them seriously and read them, sometimes twice and always with note taking habits.But that hasn't left me anywhere in particular. Especially being on and off about it.

Where do I go and where do I begin and what kind of next steps do I take? Where does one go to become an excellent writer?

This here is my commitment, pledge and honor to write, put in my effort, time and money to become the best I possibly can.

Commitment to Moving

We're fully back and immersed in our lives. Madison.

We're nearly packed and there is not much left. About two months until we move. I could not been any more agitated, anxious and ready to get this move done with. I have no more ties with this place. It's an overbearing, stifling place with no sunshine. No sunshine! At all! I have all these memories bottled up in here and everything is a constant reminder to me. I just don't want to come back at the end of the night and my own personal empire is shrinking, pacing back and about to be destroyed.

I'd like to ease and settle in again, and go back to my own daily schedule and fix my focus on myself, my craft and my own future rather than keep swallowing the old tears of the past.

Adiue, Rochester

I can't say that I am sorry to leave you, Rochester. It was not enough face time, long chats of therapeutic talks with my mom, whose generous kindness is always in season and in infinite amount. It wasn't enough to see my grandmother and taste her excellent home made food.


Though we did come here to do what we intended to do and considering how superb everything went, I have not a single complaint to make. You were awesome this time around. Though, still, I find myself excited to go back home, home to Madison and celebrate our engagement to the fullest.

Our Engagement

Today is the day. Today is the day that we've been waiting for. The day we've worked hard for and lovingly have decided. Ever since the beginning, our very first day has been with commitment. It was something we've both pledged to one another and have entered this relationship with the promise of. It became even more serious when we decided we could and eventually wanted to be married. Our relationship is now family sanctioned, officially accepted and people are looking forward to the fruition of our relationship. I am not particularly happy about being stalked and expectations being placed upon our shoulders, I, however will take the chance to demonstrate in the old traditional, archaic and awfully patriarchal ways as families like ours expect to. Though, we'd never miss the opportunity of great home made food. So here's to that.  I'll always tell you how much I love, cherish, respect you. You won't go without long durations of time, where you won't be appreciated, thanked and loved. I will always put in the effort, will always be honest about my feelings and will always be the shoulder you need to lean on.

You can always count on me.

Rochester, Again.

Hello Rochester, it's you again. This time, I've brought someone with me. Someone I deeply care about, to tie the first, red knot of commitment in front of my family.

Welcome us, help us and bring us ease, happiness and lots of love. This time, for the first time perhaps, I am excited to be here. Be kind to us and shower us with good fortune.

Our Decision is Made

We had a long talk yesterday night. A very long talk. Eventually, we have come to the decision that, we want to get married. The past eight months have been a blessing and a whirlwind. I've never felt exposed, interfered and vulnerable as I have in these past eight months. I also can confidently say that my heart has stretched bigger, grown fonder and has learned to love gently, without abusing, without hurting, crushing and to love kindly, maturely. A confidence has been inserted and the ability to accomplish and do this, to be fierce, to be strong, to be more determined has been implanted. I've been stronger with you then without--needless to say, you've spoiled me much. Some of the things I used to do on my own, now with you, have transferred over to you. Things no one has ever done for me, things only a select few people in my life, such as parents have done for me. But certainly, my list of things to do has never diminished, instead has increased now. Making up for the things I no longer have to do, like taking out the trash, opening a jar of pickles, reaching higher up in the cabinets, unplugging the toilet or the drain. Carrying heavy luggage...the list is infinite and so has my responsibilities.

Interference is bothersome, rude, immature and plain evil, simply. But I don't remember succumbing to such things. So we've made a promise to be together, to love, to respect and to support. Also, to walk over hurdles, unwavering with certainty. So, this too shall pass.

The big news is that, as we've come to this decision, we've decided to get engaged and do the traditional Turkish ceremony during the time we've set aside to visit my parents in Rochester. News will be all around and will shock those living in Rochester--though I doubt that they'll give a rat's ass.

There you go readers, I will be an engaged person come January!