Halloween Cards

I bought the most awesome Halloween Cards today at Target.They come as a pack of 8 and along side with that I bought stickers. I plan to give them out to the family I nanny for, our physicians and our property managers, along with some friends and people we use their services often.

It's a nice gesture and even more so, a wonderful way to celebrate Halloween :)

Now, to write them all!

N is Here

My brother is here! I am so excited. Last time he visited me was in June of 2012, when he first meet S. I can't believe it's already been more than a year since then. Since then all the trials we've gone through. We've moved in, gotten engaged, married and will be changing apartments soon.

Part of the reason he came at this time is to help us move. Secondly, he is also in a deep depression and I wanted to help him a little bit by bringing him out here and having him engage with others. Students, girls and people, real, living, breathing, made out of flesh people.

Depression is a horrible thing and really there is very little an outsider can do. Everything needs to be resolved within yourself and your own mind before you can do anything about it.

I am so happy and so glad he is here. This will give us an excuse to do something and also allow me to be a good sister. I haven't been that in a very long time.

Ramadan Eid

Happy Ramadan Eid.

It's been a difficult Ramadan for me. I am not sure how much I am actually supposed to celebrate and enjoy the good deeds of Eid when I have stopped fasting after the second half of Ramadan.

The previous year, we had a wonderful Eid with friends, and even some family, gatherings. It was wonderful to celebrate with everyone. This year, it feels so alone, without anyone. It literally felt as if we were the only people in the world. It's just us now. No one to go to, no one to come over. It really doesn't feel like an Eid. Even Eid in Rochester would have been better than this.

It's at times like these that I wish we were nearer my family, at least within driveable distance that we could have visited them to be together for important observances. Important dates, special times, crucial days where one human simply needs another.

Here's to lonely Eids

Labels

How we find comfort in categories and labels. We feel at home and able to gain insight and understand another by giving others labels, parts, characters to play. We feel we can manage and control the others in our world and our world in general.

It makes sense and we can eliminate the chaos somewhat, and make it liveable. It makes it easier because we don't have to work hard, try to figure that person out, put out heart out in the line. We can fit them into one particular stereotype and then be done with it. We won't have to search for ambitions, values, goals, motivations, past, history, dreams, heartbreaks before we judge another person. We don't want to stretch out the hand that of understanding and kindness we want out of others.

Still Cooking

And after all of this time and still being depressed, I am proud of myself for not giving up on cooking. I continue to cook for each meal (even if it's in batches and prepared ahead). It makes me feel like I am doing something with my time, with my day. There is some sort of paradox of progress that is comforting to me. This isn't necessarily what I am hoping to achieve, but daily activities like this, will eventually pull me out enough to have the inclination to catch up at the least.

I am enjoying cooking more than ever and I even feel venturous enough to do exotic dishes, I've never done before.

Feeling better, one meal at a time.

Our Engagement

Today is the day. Today is the day that we've been waiting for. The day we've worked hard for and lovingly have decided. Ever since the beginning, our very first day has been with commitment. It was something we've both pledged to one another and have entered this relationship with the promise of. It became even more serious when we decided we could and eventually wanted to be married. Our relationship is now family sanctioned, officially accepted and people are looking forward to the fruition of our relationship. I am not particularly happy about being stalked and expectations being placed upon our shoulders, I, however will take the chance to demonstrate in the old traditional, archaic and awfully patriarchal ways as families like ours expect to. Though, we'd never miss the opportunity of great home made food. So here's to that.  I'll always tell you how much I love, cherish, respect you. You won't go without long durations of time, where you won't be appreciated, thanked and loved. I will always put in the effort, will always be honest about my feelings and will always be the shoulder you need to lean on.

You can always count on me.

Thanksgiving 2012

As apparent, this will be our year of firsts. First anniversary, first new years, first birthdays, first Valentine's day, first Christmas, first Halloween and first Thanksgiving.

Having our first Thanksgiving, despite the fact that it's the genocide of Native Americans, was something I was looking forward to this year. Although away from our families, this became a time where we could learn to appreciate what we do have, though that may not be much, certainly a lot less then many, but however, the same of the opposite can be said.

We had a few of our friends over where we celebrated Thanksgiving, quite the immigrant way. Most of our friends were away and we were selective of the ones that did remain, as we wanted to refrain from some of them. I think the last decent Thanksgiving I had was, well, since never since my family never celebrates the American holiday and since 2009 I didn't have anyone to celebrate it with. All of these are entirely different blog posts at another time.

But we did have turkey, we had pumpkin pie, and we had wine, and beer and a long time gathered around the table, conversing into the wee hours of the night that well, didn't pertain to any singular topic, especially not Thanksgiving favorite topics.

It was ours, and for that it was special.