Catching up to mom

While some of us have close relationships with fathers, others have close relationships with their mothers. I think in general though (although as there are and as there should be exceptions) daughters tend to have a special bond with their mothers. I, in particular believe that the bond between a mother and a child is irreplaceable and the most sacred of bonds.

Ever since I was little, I always wanted to be like my mother. Blonde like her, with emerald green eyes like hers, with a soft humming voice like hers and gentle demeanor she always assumed. These were all the details I had subconsciously, perhaps even unconsciously. I know all of these now at a backward glance. Then as I aged, it became more about her personality. The gentle demeanor she had, the kind heart she always possessed, the boundless love she had for her children, her family and the world in general. The never ending optimism and the will to fight on, no matter the circumstances and regardless of the difficulty, or even impossibility of it all.

As much as I love, adore, cherish and admire my mother, as much as she is my hero, the person I respect the most and even take her as my biggest, most influential role model, I am nothing like my mother. I wish I had been more like her. Whether my life would have been easier or more difficult is open to debate. But regardless, I spend most of my time, trying to catch up to her. Trying to be like her.

However, no matter what I'll never catch up to her. I'll be at similar levels when she was my age, but I'll never be at the place where she is right now. We'll never be at the same level due to her limitless capacities and yet, untouched potential she possesses. The depths of her soul, the purity and strength of her heart and her precognitive abilities are far beyond any person's I've ever seen, read, heard, learned about. Preparedness is an open ended question and with the materials and sources she's had she's always done an outstanding job to get herself and the rest of her family where we are. She will continue to carry us to even further mountain peaks. That's just the type of person she is.

Now all this is said and done, I hope she will read this one day and will understand how much she means to me.

Catching up to you is impossible. You will be my life long mentor whom I'll always be proud to speak of.