Phone Conversations

Phone conversations can often be awkward, filled with tension and without the use of mimics and facial expressions can lead to a very stressful time for both people at either end of the line. Without proximity to a body, seeing reactions and feeling of closeness that face to face conversations have but what phone conversations lack we can't always assess what topic and how deep we can go in, often leading to disastrous phone conversations, especially if there is some sort of emotional entanglement.

Phones and I have a love-hate relationship. I love the fact that my mom can call me or I can call her whenever there is something I want to share; be it good or bad. She is one of the first people I want to turn to if I feel like crying, if I am frustrated about something, if I am hurt, or just as much when I am happy, if I meet someone new, if I have just bought new books, if I have come across something new and have discovered something about the universe. I always reach for my phone and try to get a hold of her. Then secondly, I love that I can call Yakup and feel so close no matter the distance between us (literally a thousand miles+) and the hour difference (8 hours) and I can always feel close to him. He'll tell me a joke, and make me laugh with that silly voice of his and there is no body I feel more comfortable with. These two people I can talk endlessly, for hours on the phone without losing that spark or magic, about anything and everything. From personal, specific to the general and to the impersonal.

However, I also hate it that everyone who could get a hold of my phone number could call me at any given time, at any given day, at any given place. Being that easily accessible and reachable is not something I set up for myself, nor is it something I would like to have in my personal resume. It also feels like a violation of my privacy. There are a million rules regarding phone number giving and taking and sometimes as much as I would love to refuse to give it away, circumstances require that I do. I hate phones very much at that moment. It's just a very ambivalent feeling towards technology I often have.

As a general rule, I don't like being on the phone for very long and I don't like to be on the phone with everyone. When I do have to have a conversation over the phone with other people, it's my objective to keep it under five minutes and be as clear, concise and direct as possible and say goodbye.

In addition, it's rather difficult to have a phone conversation you're just trying to get to know a person, with many puzzles and mysteries, quirks and dislikes and likes--recipe for a disaster is just ready to blow up. It's ready for a major disaster with one wrong word choice--I like avoiding that. It's also been a really long time that I was able to have a long phone conversation with a romance interest of mine. I usually refrain from trying to have long conversations or discuss serious topics over the phone with people in general. There is the potential for so many things to go wrong. Other than that I usually don't like to be on the phone very long, just saying what I need to say and hear what I need to hear, confirm and say my bye's eventually hanging up.

With all that being said today was not the first time, but an important sign that I am taking you to heart quite literately. It's a good sign. With you it's different. It feels like I could have long conversations about anything without any reservations and boldly. The conversation was smooth, without being forced and it's own flow without either one of us really pulling or pushing in one direction over the other. Today will be a good day :)