:)

So, I avoided writing here for a few days. I didn't wanted to sound so cold hearted and callous.

I never thought ending things could have been this easy. Three years is easy to say. It's a long time and sadly, initially, all I could think of was the relief. Relief of letting go, of this nightmare ending. Had I known that there was going to be so much weight lifted off my shoulders, I would have said my goodbye's a long time ago. The question begs itself, why did I stay so long with him? Honestly, that's a complicated question. But as Virginia Woolf says, we are only able to understand our feelings in a backward glance. I did love him. He was the first love of my adult life. But even that love had worn itself out and it burned out. Our love ended because it wasn't mutual, because I was never appreciated or cared for. Then I stayed because it was so much harder to say goodbye to habits ( I am a creature of habit) to all the efforts I had given throughout the life of that relationship. But I was always alone in that relationship. I don't know what it was for him. But if initial reaction after ending a relationship is a relief, well then, it says everything that needs to be said. I hadn't been happy in such a long time and had not been feeling like myself, nor could I have had shared anything with him. But, the question begs itself, what can you ask of or expect from a man who refuses to share his life with me, or even hide his facebook relationship status (something as simple as that) and even hide his friends list from you? What can you ask of a man who only sends a "happy birthday Nazire" text on your birthday after three years. The riddle solves itself quite nicely doesn't it? Nothing of my world interested him. Finally, that step being taken, my life changed around and here comes the next chapter of my life.