My luck has turned around. My lips are actually smiling, and I am smiling from the bottom of my heart. How long had that been?--I can't remember. And it feels tremendously good. Was it like this to be happy, to be able to laugh, smile and feel content? Was this how yearnings and desires were? I can't believe the good fortune I am having and I am just so afraid of jinxing it.
No really, this year on my birthday, magic happened. Every year on my birthday, I would hope for a magic to happen, as long as I could remember myself. It wasn't wishing for category a or b, I just wanted magic to happen. I wanted a signal, an omen from God and wanted to feel special, remembered, appreciated. And I waited for 24 years. The magic I had always hoped on my birthday, for the first time actually happened on my 24th, in the most oddest way possible, in the most unexpected, most beautiful way. I couldn't have asked it to be any better though. This year, I got the best gift possible from God. Never in a million years could I have thought things would work out this way. There stood my luck, my good fortune, my smile, my magic, my happiness and my gift. A gift that was exactly what I needed.
Thanks to that wonderful gift, I've found myself again--and life has never been in brighter colors nor has it been so kind to me. Being able to dream of months and sometimes years ahead...such a relief, a beautiful skill, I had forgotten. And as much as I love solitary dreams, to be able to dream with someone else--well, it is a threat and a treat that can't be compared to anything else on this soft earth. But knowing that one day, that possibility could occur, is a wonderful feeling
To know of desires and feelings so earnestly, and to be so open and opaque with a heart...mmm...I can't wait to live through each and single day.
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