Hiatus and then some...

I had to take a short hiatus to yield to the daily demands of well, daily lives. Nonetheless some extremely important events has taken place in my life that have definitely effected the out come of the direction of my life in the long run.

The preparations for Irem's coming is slowly being completed. I have one big thing left to purchase (a bathroom organizer) with a few small things. Irem coming over was a good excuse to complete the missing necessities in my home, but more importantly has made me think about some experiences in my past. While, I am usually against comparing and contrasting some truths stare straight at you and reckoning the difference between two people becomes as clear and different as night and day. I never could settle, never could feel like I could belong--I just had to hate here, had to be displeased with everything and everyone around me. The more I liked it here and wanted to stay, the more uncomfortable he became and started to say things that would sting. The more I tried to make myself feel at home, change things around and buy things to make my life easier, the more uncomfortable he became, the more he would lash out. The things I kept putting off buying, doing, seeing, etc. I think it all comes from his own restlessness which he always played out on me.

Don't get me wrong, I never had the notion to belong to one particular person. I have many homes. I am the type of person that likes to have "a home" and make her apartment just more than sleeping quarters as they said in the olden days. I like making it my own--I am a bit possessive. But I don't like to use the place I live like a hotel. I like painting the walls red, buying a bookshelf, decorating my walls with pictures and tokens of memories, decorate it with lamps and silly things. But now, I feel like I belong without any of that trouble. Without the struggle, but rather with a lot of support and care that I never had before, like ambushing me with the bookcase I wanted to buy. Helping me put my wall-mounted bookshelves on, helping me put together the storage cabinet I bought. These are all important things that I cherish and they hold a significant place in my thought process.

Now, only if I could find a job...