Motherhood

What is motherhood? Why is it revered outwardly, however we are continually punished by the societies we live in by being restrained in our identities as mothers, nearly banned from our public spaces in the world.

I've always believed in and adored mothers, motherhood and even dreamed of being a mother myself, at sometime. This went from educating myself on motherhood, infant, child related issues, solutions and psychology from short seminars to classes to blog searching. I've observed, asked and listened. Obviously, none of this is enough until I have a child of my own. I also never believed that having children should limit the capacity of a woman in the public sphere. Nor did I consider that having children should change the fabric of a person's soul fundamentally that they should just seek the comforts of their home from then on. I think women who become parents, mothers have more on the line. They have more risks, more responsibilities and more they have to stand up to. They have more to learn, to stretch and less time to do all of this in. Nonetheless, I find mothers powerful in and of themselves. I also find them to be awe-inspiring. Mothers hearts stretch, grow and have more to give. They're always looking for more practical ways to do things, more time, and master the art of multi-tasking.

I have no idea what kind of a mother I will be when I have kids--that is if I ever change my decision to have children again--and no body can guess or know until I pop one out. Though, that would be oversimplifying it. But let's go with the popular lingo here.

It saddens me to see mothers like the recent conversation partner I have made that motherhood is a prison and a place that emasculates them for a better lack of word. They find children stifling, overbearing and like an obstacle in life to be lived through and removed in which the adult can return to her life, once the child is independent enough (meaning when elementary school).

I also can't particularly understand women who feels that this entirely empowers them to be lazy, stay at home and do nothing at all ( I am not talking about home makers here, who work throughout the day, and throughout the night, without a day off, without a paycheck and the appreciation that is earned and that should be shown often by all the work that these women do for their homes, for their spouses and their children) and feel that it is a right they have earned by deciding to get married and have a child or children. It isn't the goal of motherhood. Because if anything, domestic chores take a lot of time to clean up and prepare, takes seconds to undo and hence others around the house don't do them, cannot appreciate them and does not understand how much work it takes to keep a home neat, tidy and meals cooked.

Hello Rochester

And of course, as someone who understands myself, my inner workings and the multifaceted personality of mine, multi-porous emotions that even confuse the heck out of me, I knew that the very things that will make me feel bad will also be my medicine in not to go spiraling down into a deep depression which I had a minimum change of recovering for a long time. So being around my sunshine mom, which her always positive, upbeat attitude that always gets up in the morning no matter what kind of hell had broken loose the night before would heal me away, without knowing anything of the source of our mutual agony.

So, here's to being in Rochester, with family, being surrounded by love and a new life.

Berra

Yesterday, my uncle's first child was born. Considering the fact that he is only 8 years older than I am, it feels like my first niece.
Overall, probably the best Sunday once can wish to strive for. Waking up after a great night filled with fun to hear wonderful news of an addition to an ever growing family, one that has been greatly anticipated and have been waiting for.

Berra, as cousins, we're at least  whole two generations apart. I will be more like an aunt, than as a cousin. We certainly won't have the same kind of relationship as I had with my brother and my aunts first child, in which we were all more or so the same age, who truly grew up together, experiencing the same joys and pains in the family. We certainly won't have the same relationships as my aunts' and uncles' second children, in which I was already several years older and had the honor to show them around in family, in the neighborhood and in the world. I had a responsibility as older sister to teach the right from wrong. You could have been my child, if the circumstances were right and had I meet your uncle S a few years earlier and if life had been a little bit easier on me, allowing me to get my way. Of course, though you are not and instead will always be a beloved cousin, whom I will always feel that you're more along the lines of a niece. Your father, my uncle has always been more of a brother to me, then an uncle, allowing me to feel like you're my own, or a niece.

No matter how our relationship can be defined due to the blood relationship, time constraints capped by circumstances, you will always be precious, loved, cared for and nestled at the warmest spot in our hearts. I will always look at you longingly, draw your scent in, as if I am always trying to make up for something, and feel like a sinner because I will always be living further away in one way or another.

But, welcome to earth, may you have a long, happy life, filled with joy, understanding and appreciation.

Berra's Baby Shower!

I'm back at Rochester for Baby Berra's baby shower! My uncle and his wife will be having a baby girl, their first child. My grandparents are over the moon, as if this is their first grandchild.

The baby shower turn out was well, food was great and although I hate the color pink, it was fun to see pink adorning every possible thing this time around. I do wish they would have used another color scheme.

It's amazing how ignorant people could be and when it suits them cease their courteous niceties because they wish to act a certain way on someone else's dime. But that's Turkish people for you. They just love to make others uncomfortable and bend the rules to suit their own needs, whatever the time, whatever the occasion and whatever the people.

But this is another testament to my mom, whose intelligence never ceases to amaze me and her absolute determination to make something out of nothing and make sure it is successfully completed. Her hard work, careful maneuvering and smart solutions to tough problems, I am happy to have such a strong woman as a mother. I've been truly blessed.

No matter how hard, depressive and difficult things may be, she is always the optimist, always holding on until the storm is over.