Hello Chicago

The road back home is always long. Unfortunately though, with all that has been ripped away from me, taken away to be never given back to me, has left a sour after taste and Chicago has lost its romantic mysticism, attractive and pheromones. The admiration has left its place to hatred, hostility and anger.

Two incidents, that are far apart has forever ruined Chicago for me. Though never the less, arriving at Chicago, signals me that we're nearly home, almost home, like home and we can drop the pretenses and this charade and go back to our tiny apartment to mourn the loss we both will never recover from. We can go back to falling apart every night to pick ourselves in the morning and to run after the endless amount of paper work we have to chase, complete, file and turn in. All the things we have to do before the summer is out and all the certainty we have to secure so that we may have our wedding August of 2014.

Hello Chicago, you now remind me of hurt, loss and blood.

Hello Rochester

And of course, as someone who understands myself, my inner workings and the multifaceted personality of mine, multi-porous emotions that even confuse the heck out of me, I knew that the very things that will make me feel bad will also be my medicine in not to go spiraling down into a deep depression which I had a minimum change of recovering for a long time. So being around my sunshine mom, which her always positive, upbeat attitude that always gets up in the morning no matter what kind of hell had broken loose the night before would heal me away, without knowing anything of the source of our mutual agony.

So, here's to being in Rochester, with family, being surrounded by love and a new life.