Babies

It's awkward to think about babies. They take so many different shapes, forms, names and go through several stages that sometimes, it's not only confusing but also difficult to adapt.

They begin with basic anatomical parts/excretions and cannot begin without one another. It becomes an embryo, eventually a fetus, then a baby and begins to be called an infant, then a toddler and eventually a child.

The miraculous part is often that it begins within you and takes time to figure out that you even are carrying, or have perhaps successfully conceived. Sometimes, that just might be the worst news you can receive about your own body. If you're single, or perhaps not in a committed relationship, or are not interested in having children at all, or whatever the reason might be. As many reasons as there are out there for having children, there are just as many, if not more for not having or wanting to have children.

You change with it. Your body becomes perhaps beautiful, perhaps revolting to some. But you change with it. Your body will never be once what it was after being pregnant, even if you don't carry it full term.

Your life will change once you do have a baby. It is true. I don't need to have a baby to see that and understand that piece of information. It is a living, breathing example in front of me, continually, and the examples come from near and far. It keeps getting move detailed, involved and evolved. I see it a little bit more clearly as my age increases and I experience through more of life everyday and perhaps take one ladder step a day.

They're fascinating, they're monstrous and miracles--truly. This tiny human being, with a heart, soul, fingers, eyes and lips, and its own personality from the moment its been conceived, or been born, whatever you believe in. It will change and will have its own life, fate, destiny and future in front of it. As a parent, while you without a doubt will try to influence its life and you will succeed, more than you think, there are times where you can't do anything about the direction your child's life is going. It will have to live its own life and battle its own wars. That's how it has been for you, for me, your parents and inevitably, how it will be for your child if you decide to bring a baby into the world.

Once they're born, there is no taking it back. There is no, let's begin anew. It is yours and a part of you. Whether you emotionally and psychologically bond with it or not. It is legally yours. It is biologically yours.

Its confusing because for a while there,they will be entirely dependent on you. And you will become well, so to speak in frank terms, a slave. Milk it, bathe it, change its diaper, play with it, be consumed by it in your adoration of it, play with it, put it to sleep and the list just goes on and on.
Then eventually as the years roll on, it becomes less dependent on you, more in-tune with its on body, mind and soul, its own desires and wants and hates. Eventually it will want to discover the world for its self. Eventually it will grow up. But a certain part of it will never stop needing you.

It would be hard to get used to...presumably.

Motherhood

What is motherhood? Why is it revered outwardly, however we are continually punished by the societies we live in by being restrained in our identities as mothers, nearly banned from our public spaces in the world.

I've always believed in and adored mothers, motherhood and even dreamed of being a mother myself, at sometime. This went from educating myself on motherhood, infant, child related issues, solutions and psychology from short seminars to classes to blog searching. I've observed, asked and listened. Obviously, none of this is enough until I have a child of my own. I also never believed that having children should limit the capacity of a woman in the public sphere. Nor did I consider that having children should change the fabric of a person's soul fundamentally that they should just seek the comforts of their home from then on. I think women who become parents, mothers have more on the line. They have more risks, more responsibilities and more they have to stand up to. They have more to learn, to stretch and less time to do all of this in. Nonetheless, I find mothers powerful in and of themselves. I also find them to be awe-inspiring. Mothers hearts stretch, grow and have more to give. They're always looking for more practical ways to do things, more time, and master the art of multi-tasking.

I have no idea what kind of a mother I will be when I have kids--that is if I ever change my decision to have children again--and no body can guess or know until I pop one out. Though, that would be oversimplifying it. But let's go with the popular lingo here.

It saddens me to see mothers like the recent conversation partner I have made that motherhood is a prison and a place that emasculates them for a better lack of word. They find children stifling, overbearing and like an obstacle in life to be lived through and removed in which the adult can return to her life, once the child is independent enough (meaning when elementary school).

I also can't particularly understand women who feels that this entirely empowers them to be lazy, stay at home and do nothing at all ( I am not talking about home makers here, who work throughout the day, and throughout the night, without a day off, without a paycheck and the appreciation that is earned and that should be shown often by all the work that these women do for their homes, for their spouses and their children) and feel that it is a right they have earned by deciding to get married and have a child or children. It isn't the goal of motherhood. Because if anything, domestic chores take a lot of time to clean up and prepare, takes seconds to undo and hence others around the house don't do them, cannot appreciate them and does not understand how much work it takes to keep a home neat, tidy and meals cooked.