Aspern Papers

There is magic to waking up early. I swear by it. The earlier the better, so much gets done by noon and with a powered lunch, you can still go for another eight hours, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders to a solid finish, come home and settle into that book by Henry James after dinner with a cup of hot tea and say hello to Juliana of Aspern. Even getting out the house, perhaps not daily, but a few times a week is healthy. It's more than healthy, it's a necessity. It takes away the stale air from your lungs, instead filling it with fresh air and giving you a chance to soak up in the sun. Seeing faces doesn't damage either. By nature, our psychology is wired to interact with others socially and well, although sometimes people could get the best of us and get us down, they can also make us feel like we belong in the bigger picture to feel not so insignificant, lost and without value.  Social animals is what we are the very least. This interaction among other human beings is necessity to continue to function properly, even if it is barely and you had the look on everyone's faces. You had the smell of passing cars and chill seems to bother you endlessly. You might hate the kids running around, and the sight of the joggers with their barely there shorts whipping against the wind. You might prefer the quietness and the stillness of your house, where you can hang around in your underwear and drink endless number of cups of tea, coffee, lattes, sodas and what not. But even so, it is still good for you to be out there.

Been there, done that, have tried it. A good balance as always is what gets us through the day...and oh yeah, recognizing, knowing, understanding and embracing yourself to work out a schedule that works out for you, but perhaps doesn't work out for the rest of us...that's okay too. We might not all be as individual as the each snow flake that falls down from the heaven, but there are many different kinds of us out there and one thing will not suit another. Even logic seems to be subjective as of late. I digress, because after another episode of depression I seem to be struggling again to make something of myself, of my life and still trying to be on track, at the very least try to get out of this rut, against all odds...Even I am surprised at myself at this point and to be in the library, surrounded by books once again, I am ecstatic and words seem to fall off from the tips of my fingers without any editing or control and I find myself at the end of very long run-on sentences.

Well, hello Henry James and the Aspern Papers :)