Today

Nothing really matters anymore.
Moving away doesn't hold any purposes or merits.
School seems more like a joke.
I feel the very essence of my soul has rotten to hell, and everything taken away from me.
I feel as though I stand before life, humanity and world, barren, naked, defeated with no purpose, neither a ray of hope.
My spirit sucked right out from my heart.
My dreams seem so distant now, once I held so dear and close, and admired about great dreams,...cold its cold.

Back then I used to believe I had everything. I believed I was lucky till my bone marrow, and nothing bad could ever happen to me, even if it did, I would manage some how without many scrapes.

Well, as you grow up, you learn and life brings you to order and brings you to your knees. Even though you manage to survive the bad things, you cant end up managing without scrapes. You only manage through deep, deep, wounds that has penetrated into your soul, filthy your memories you cant seem to cleanse yourself of.

My eyes shined bright and I dared to dream, and even so I was courageous enough to dream big. I believed in my soul, and I had faith in myself, that I was going to be able to accomplish it all and not let ever anything stand in my way. I had enough guts to say that I will never change, and I will never lose that brightness in my eyes. I was brave enough to say I will never get knocked down. I was stubborn and my will was iron. With that determination, I managed to knock alot of things out of my way, and continue to progress....Until it all caught up with me.

I used to believe I was special, I stood aside, and stood tall with that pride of mine.

Where has all of that gone now?

I feel like life robbed me all of them, and my ideals. This is the exact reason why, I no longer have a home.

maybe, someday, I can regain them?