this is too hard. i am beginning to doubt my own reasons for this. I'm thinking of giving up now...
I don't want to put my family through this. I don't want to put myself through this. This wasn't why I wanted to go away, and this wasn't the circumstances I wanted to leave Rochester under in.
*sigh*.
I just wish for once things went easy in my life.
Its hard. Life is always hard. I always have dreams and goals, but I always fall short regardless of how hard I try. My fear is to become ordinary. But the harder I work, the harder it seems to achievable. I always get a small waft of my dream, the delusion that it seems like finally my hard work is paying off and slowly my dreams are being realized, it breaks apart, falls apart, with only my emotions to shatter even more.
I hate this. I just wish that this time it happens. I really need this...
Humans are such fickle and whimsical creatures. Although they have high expectations of after receiving a certain order of words, actions, and reactions that they will be happy...but unfortunately words and actions do not guarantee happiness and peace...
you wait and wait for it to happen and when on the rare occurrence of it actually realized, sometimes you just don't end up feeling the way you had expected... Petty isn't it?
It does make me question but it will be a good experience.
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