bad day...

My heart is heavy, beyond imagination.
My soul is sad, beyond my understanding.

I never wanted things to be this way. I feel like I am going to break into tiny sharp pieces, and with these last regrets, I will make a necklace to of malice, broken red strings for the rest of my life. And unfortunately, I see beauty even in that dark malice.

I wanted to leave happily, in a state where I feel as though I've grown, and with eyes that had hope glittered in them. My ever so good relations with my mother, are sour, and on the rocks.

There is this feeling inside that I cant escape.

I want things to change, I want things to be better.

Its broken, and when something is broken, I know better than anyone that its impossible to recover it the way it was before.

I wish, I wasn't leaving on these terms.