I feel pretty darn stupid right about now.
Edit: (Addition)
Yeah, yeah. I didn't feel like making another entry right back to back when I've already made quite a few today.

I obviously can't stop writing about my own inadequacies and how inept I can be. Scratch can be, and insert am. I feel horrible. A part of me is dying while I am trying to save the other part. It seems like I can't save myself, can't help my self, me, the only person who should be able to, even when I try my hardest. All there is left is failure. While I clean one part, the other starts sagging and dragging me down. I am always left behind, trying to catch up, but the only thing I seem to be doing to keep lagging behind, being left behind and watch the shoulders of life, heading ahead of me, without me. Like, life ever waited for anybody. Why should it wait for me? Of course it wouldn't.
I did feel pretty good today, to start off, checking off so many things off of my to do lists, but at the end, I just feel like crap, crawling under my blanket and sleeping...running away from it all. The bigger question is when did I became like that? I look back to my childhood years, I was absolute opposite of that. My teenage years has been quite ripe and fruitful. My young adult years on the other hand is quite futile. I feel as though, Life has been drained right out of me.
Life is passing right before my very own eyes, hands and feet and all I can do is, watch it go by in misery, failure and regret.

I should just get over the point that I will never be able to do anything I want, nor anything I had originally planned. Everyday, I drift further away from everything I passionately came to believe in, and planned so laboriously. Alas, my assets amounts to zero, nothing, nadda, zip. I should come to terms with myself, my inability to achieve anything, embrace it, move on with my life and draw a new path for myself so I don't end up in the same place as I am exactly right now in the next 20 years.