Regret of the Taxes Saga Continues

We don't have the money anyway, but it seems I can't get my taxes done until August 5th. It seems everywhere is booked. I thought the tax season ended in April. Why is there a line to get in until August 5th?

Also, I had no idea people could do them so late! It's Thank GOODNESSS for me! I won't be getting any money back probably, but really, it's always better to do them then not.

Regret of Joint Taxes

For the year 2012, it's too sad for us. Since we got married in 2013, there is no possible way on earth, we could ever file joint taxes for the year of 2012. It would have been nice, considering that we've been living together in 2012. But that's what happens when you don't do your research and take the proper precautions to protect yourself from spilled milk.

So 2013 taxes are our hope in 2014. What's another seven months or so?

Fullbright and J-1

Fullbright is a wonderful program for serious scholars to do some serious works that enables them to live financially worry free as they are living in the United States.

They're professionally done that take serious interest in candidates and truly select the best students from across the globe and give them an opportunity to study in U.S. No doubt, for many, allowing these students to achieve their long held dreams that have sustained their imaginations and become their motivations to study harder each day.

Fullbright takes care of these students by sending them to language institutes in the country which allows them to better their English writing and speaking skills and also giving them a chance to live through their culture shock and adapt at an easier environment without a great consequence to their studies.

Fullbright advisers assigned to each student seems well trained, informative and knowledgeable about anything one can think of. The said foreign student has with great accessibility with these advisers to such life saving knowledge.

But it sucks when you fall in love, marry and would like to stay in U.S. for a few years until everyone catches up to the same page before you go back to your home country to fulfill your promise of two year home stay requirement and to disseminate positive information and experiences about staying and studying in the U.S.

S came with the plan to return to Turkey and find a job there and better the Chemistry of Turkish Scientists in any way he can. Being a help, creating something new for the government is one of his biggest desires and goals.

What we wanted to do was that I would go back to school--whenever that was going to be--finish my undergraduate degree, go for my masters and have a year or two of working experience which I could use to land prosperous jobs within my industry. That now feels like a nostalgic and shattered dream at best. Until then, S would finish his school and also would gain some industry experience, create and solidify his network and begin looking for jobs that he would be interested in. Eventually, when we felt we were ready to go and begin the next chapter of our lives, we would return to Turkey permanently, at least on a trial bases, after applying for spousal green card for S which would eventually turn into a citizenship.

It seems, those with Fullbright sponsors cannot do that. Before they could change their visa status to anything but a J-1, they must return home and finish their two year requirements, no matter how detrimental those two years might to one's life, career, marriage, loss of wages and family life.

I can understand why the Congress would be so keen on making it near impossible for any J-1 Vis holder to stay more than the required time to finish their degree, go back to their country and enlarge the circle of prestigious network of Fullbright alumni. But, they have to be able to make exceptions. This no exception clauses are a pain.

Legality

With the disappointment of yesterday, we got in heavier with the lawyer researching. We're not going to get anywhere without a lawyer, that much is becoming obvious. But I also realize that lawyers have become a bit too tricky. It's better to be armed with information, whether you put in the time and money to find out about the basic premises of your situation and what it means in the legal frame and what you realistically can get away with. Otherwise, you're dead meat in this jungle.

Also, the more informed you are, the more seriously they seem to take you. Niceties are for amateurs. The more you can get away with and probably get the best deal that is possible with your circumstance and options. Options are everything, even the very bad ones. We've narrowed down our list to five lawyers and are giving a small break to learn about this whole thing, and then go and select a new lawyer for our selves that can eventually help us.

Always, always get a second, third, fourth and even a fifth opinion.

Lawyers

Lawyers are difficult, deranged, snobby people who really thinks the world exists to soothe and contain their ego. My goodness, what a bunch of disgusting people.

Finding them is difficult, getting into contact with them is even more difficult, communicating with them is impossible. They charge per the word it feels like, and just don't do enough for the price they ask. I still haven't been able to learn anything and it looks like this is going to be a difficult item.

Next Big 3 Items of Our Agenda

We've established our big three items in our collective agenda. We've gotten a new apartment and figured out the logistics that goes along with it. We've taken care of my serious health problem, and we have also gotten ourselves insured and went in for our first check ups. We're back in Madison, eased in and totally immersed back in our lives.

Finding lawyers and information about our situation is what comes next and what is of most importance. We have to figure out a way to plan this out carefully and stick to it. Tax season will be coming again and I want to be prepared this time around. Note to self, also do your taxes. I also want to have a tentative plan that would lay out to us what we need to do and give us a time frame to work. Which will make me a better person, a more productive adult as I would have the flames of time on my back, licking my sweat and slashing against my sweat to motivate me. Nothing works like worry and the question of physical survival. I guess we should include that item number two is us individually getting our taxes done. The number three item would be for S to find his new research group so that he can continue on with his program without any hitches.

It's back to reality for us.

Holy Cheesiness

As cheesy as this is, it has been a whole months since the day we've said "I Do".  I've mostly been excited and gushing about it as often as the chance has presented itself in conversations, introductions and reintroductions. It's also been unfortunate that the first few weeks of our marriage has been shrouded in plight, obstacle frenzied, finally producing the courage to act on a difficult, painful decision and the tears that was caused by it. However, needless to say, it's been a surreal experience.

First of all, the day of our ceremony was a beautiful, sunny day. Considering that Madison has been freezing, even this late in May was discouraging. But we woke to a warm, sunny day that eventually put me and my increasingly crashing brain at ease. To have been able to finish everything in time-- with much help from S, who stayed up with me peeling onions, potatoes, tomatoes, zucchinis along with me and helping me stir soups and roll Baklava doughs, staying up the whole night with me to only sleep for a few hours was probably a crash course on one of the many reasons why I decided to marry this wonderful man--and be actually living in that moment, going through this monumental task, rite of passage and incredibly intimate life defining moment, has been a profound experience in my life that has both elated and humbled my own emotions, and outlook in life.

Secondly, to have been lucky enough to have friends who cherish, appreciate and value our individualities, and support our relationship entirely and take the time from their extremely busy schedules to attend our very small, private ceremony in front of the State Capitol Building. They've all individually came out, decked out, men dashed out and the women artistically beautiful, with their cards, flowers and gifts at hand. I can't remember the amount of pictures we've taken and certainly is enough to fill several photo albums.

Thirdly, we're even luckier to have an extremely wonderful couple whose encouraging, supportive and kind natures have always kept them near and dear to our hearts. Whose friendships we've continually sought and whose hearts has been our solace in the inability of our parents attending this extremely important day of our lives--the most important day of our lives. The friends' whose helpful natures have allowed us the opportunity to have our nuptial party at their backyard, providing us even with an all paid BBQ.

It felt good to walk hand in hand, having worn my short, summer lace dress, with my nude Guess shoes and a hand made bouquet of red and white roses and daisies. Exactly one month ago today, S and I, our dream had been accomplished. We both began our shared lives, lovingly and entirely peaceful about the decision we've made. We accomplished the most important dream of our lives, being married to each other--to the right person, whom we have been searching for our entire lives. The promises we've made in secret became government sanctioned, witnessed by our friends and our commitment now has begun to be documented. In this wonderful life spanning dream, we'll grow, learn, mature together, to aspire, to reach and lean and to accomplish, to obtain and to fulfill other goals, dreams that will be satisfying and obtained after years of hart work, encouragement, and turmoil only lessened by one anothers support, warmth and kindness.

We partied the day away until late at night, eating, drinking, sharing our wonderful stories of one another and the memories we've shared with our friends. We danced some and we reminisced, looking forward to the future.

Happy Anniversary, My Hamsi :)