Research Groups

It's been a stagnating Summer with much to do, but without much to progress, boast or even be extremely happy about.

S is working hard, researching about his options, what he can do, what he wants to do and where he can go after this. He is trying to come up with some sort of proposal, trying to create a new beginning, a fresh start and also trying to motivate himself for academia once again. As his efforts were effortlessly returned back to him, he feels a little oppressed and hurt by the whole process, and so a lot of motivation is broken.

His passion for Science and his good will to change the world, be of benefit to someone makes up for his lack of discipline and regular his inability to stick to a regular schedule and set hours, which further complicates our planning and stifles our growth process, tremendously.



I would love to see more hope instilled in his heart and to see his eyes shining for Science once more. That's the S I know.

Mess of S

S is a kind, loving and compassionate person. While he may be more naive than usual men for his age when it comes to his innocence and the frank ability to trust people, what they say, their actions and being able to take them on their word. He's never been really duped, or put in an awkward situation by trusting another human. What a wonderful world he's lived in. He's had great friends and his family continues to be supportive of everything he does. He has rarely been wronged, and definitely not on a large scale where his faith in humanity rises above mine.

S is a hard worker, holds many core principles and does not waver from them. At least, I haven't seen him do so. He trusts blindingly, gives his all to an employer, and tries to do his best, not only for himself but for his higher ups because he wants to show how much he appreciates being trusted and put in a position of trust and power. He'll give his weekends, nights and days, continually, without complaining or resenting the job he does.

So, when everything came to the bottom line in the beginning of the summer, it was something he was not looking forward to, left him him crumbles. The tall imaginary building he had created for himself with his accomplishments, works and the long hours he pulled in, all came crashing down. He no longer can stand up straight, his pride is wounded and hurt. He does not know where to go and what to do with himself. Any talk of science or chemistry is painful to him. But he's got lots of pain and disappointment to air out of his system before he can actually do anything productive.

He's left here, with me instead, moping and trying to make it do without suffering too much. Unfair, really.

Fullbright and J-1

Fullbright is a wonderful program for serious scholars to do some serious works that enables them to live financially worry free as they are living in the United States.

They're professionally done that take serious interest in candidates and truly select the best students from across the globe and give them an opportunity to study in U.S. No doubt, for many, allowing these students to achieve their long held dreams that have sustained their imaginations and become their motivations to study harder each day.

Fullbright takes care of these students by sending them to language institutes in the country which allows them to better their English writing and speaking skills and also giving them a chance to live through their culture shock and adapt at an easier environment without a great consequence to their studies.

Fullbright advisers assigned to each student seems well trained, informative and knowledgeable about anything one can think of. The said foreign student has with great accessibility with these advisers to such life saving knowledge.

But it sucks when you fall in love, marry and would like to stay in U.S. for a few years until everyone catches up to the same page before you go back to your home country to fulfill your promise of two year home stay requirement and to disseminate positive information and experiences about staying and studying in the U.S.

S came with the plan to return to Turkey and find a job there and better the Chemistry of Turkish Scientists in any way he can. Being a help, creating something new for the government is one of his biggest desires and goals.

What we wanted to do was that I would go back to school--whenever that was going to be--finish my undergraduate degree, go for my masters and have a year or two of working experience which I could use to land prosperous jobs within my industry. That now feels like a nostalgic and shattered dream at best. Until then, S would finish his school and also would gain some industry experience, create and solidify his network and begin looking for jobs that he would be interested in. Eventually, when we felt we were ready to go and begin the next chapter of our lives, we would return to Turkey permanently, at least on a trial bases, after applying for spousal green card for S which would eventually turn into a citizenship.

It seems, those with Fullbright sponsors cannot do that. Before they could change their visa status to anything but a J-1, they must return home and finish their two year requirements, no matter how detrimental those two years might to one's life, career, marriage, loss of wages and family life.

I can understand why the Congress would be so keen on making it near impossible for any J-1 Vis holder to stay more than the required time to finish their degree, go back to their country and enlarge the circle of prestigious network of Fullbright alumni. But, they have to be able to make exceptions. This no exception clauses are a pain.

The Day After

We walked a long time with S. For hours, up and down Madison, in the middle of the night He just can't say anything else, trying to convey his emotions in a thoughtful way that and in a way that would make to an outsider like me. Someone whose any kind of Chemistry knowledge came from a basic Chemistry class, years ago, I cannot understand the Scientific Method, process or how things move along. But I can sympathize and understand the emotions he is going through. Telling him that does no good, because the less he feels I understand, the more he will tell me, which means the more he will vent, without censoring his own emotions, which will eventually get better with time.

He just doesn't know where to begin to hold on to light, how to make himself feel better, and what steps to take next. Our obvious concerns are, what will happen, what should our next steps be and how could we get over this with the softest blow?

Bad News

We've discussed this option for a very long time, since December, over and over with S, continually. From evening to dawn of the next morning. I thought we were prepared for this. We can't seem to take a breather for a very long time, it seems. Something is happening to someone, with short intervals. At least, I am getting better bit by bit, so now, I can support S.

S received some heart breaking news today. His professor no longer wants to work with him. This was shattering to S. The always humorous, always optimist S that I knew was in shambles today, his voice shaken and his eyes sunken. this is hard news to hear for someone in the academia who has worked 16 hours a day trying to make everyone but himself happy, trying to meet expectations. For someone who has given his whole three years, he feel so stifled and short-changed and I can't blame him. His wound is big and hurtful. He doesn't know what to do, what to say. His sadness is visible and I just don't know what to say to him to soothe him better. He feels like it's a big slap on the face. People who thought academia was face, you have no idea how wrong that is and how competitive everything is in these institutions' walls.

Long walks is all we can take. Maybe the fresh spring air will make him feel better. At the moment, this is all we can do.

Good Student

All through elementary, middle and high school, eventually my first two years of college, I was what you called the bright, but bad student. I was bright, my teachers knew it, my parents knew it, my friends knew it, my classmates knew it, and worst of all, I knew it. This made me less inclined to do homework (because, I didn't need to do the homework to understand the material) and I had a horrible attendance record. And because I didn't keep myself engaged in the class, I was less likely to attend class, less likely to care about the class and the material. Because of that, I missed important due dates, exams and sometimes failed solely due to the fact that I just didn't attend the class enough times.

Understanding the material and engaging in what I learned wasn't the problem. After two years of terrible grades, it was time that I lost my financial aid and began to understand the importance of attending classes and being a good student. As evidently, being bright didn't get you to pass your classes. People didn't let you graduate because you were bright. Rightly so. Evidently, I learned the hard way to be a good student. To be organized, to do the assignments well before the day before the due date, turn them in on time and at least review for the exams. I developed good skills after those two years. I was able to organize very well in time I found out. I was great at time management and getting the best out of my day, especially if I also had to do 40 hour weeks and all of my classes were squished into one day. I was great at studying ahead so that I always had enough time to do my assignments. These skills I learned are great skills that has carried over to my personal and writing life.

I am grateful for them, however until I experienced those two years, it would have been impossible for me to learn these valuable lessons, I now never forget.