The Cheesiness Continues

Today, being the second month anniversary (though I must mention, I wonder the ensuing, never ending capacity of my inability to end my cheesiness, I swear, I was never like this before) I think the Universe is sending out mixed signals at best.

After months of grueling research, paper gathering, document searching, discovering, finding, securing, obtaining, scanning, photocopying, endless hours spent in front of the computer screen, reading through what seemed to me an abyss of information regarding the whole non-immigrant to immigrant status changes, what, which forms, what documents needed, required, where to and how to obtain them, how to handle, fill out and send said such forms, lawyer investigation, finding, calling and begging of free consultations, we were finally able to have our consultation.

(I realize the sentence is a run-on sentence. I obviously could have changed it and made it far more logical, organized and grammatically correct. Though, the constant, never ending, out of breath state of the sentence, described rather accurately our days since May 24th, once without a stop, break and that continues to suck the life out of cores).

In the past two weeks intense research about J-1 Visa Waiver Process, we found out more than we wanted to. Only because, it was such discouraging news that the first night, we walked around Madison for hours, on the West side of the city and had to hail a cab back home. We felt paralyzed, we discussed, and discussed, created scenarios and tried to get to the bottom of a truth we had no access to, nor the knowledge to hypothesize. We were so disappointed and felt so heavy hearted, so desperate and not knowing what to do, nor what was available, eventually we both broke down, hugging and crying for a good amount.

Of course, the next day, we continued searching through the web, forums and any kind of legal website that offered free online information and consultation, of any kind. We browsed, read, reread and reflected and then discussed what that meant to us, what we could do with that option and what remained an availability of what we could do. Then we repeated this process again and again. By Tuesday of this week, we realized how grim our situation could be if our only option was to stay here, no matter. But as we worked out through the information, what we wanted to do, what we could do and how we could best attain them. We've always decided that we were going to go back to fulfill S's Two Year Home Stay Requirement when the time came and would actually try to first live in Turkey, considering that we both have buffed up our resume to take such a bold action. We'd try, see what Turkey has offered and is able to offer us, measure our happiness, satisfaction with our lives and jobs and make a decision whether to continue living in Turkey or coming back to the States.

The main issue is that we refuse to live far apart, under any circumstances and for any amount of time, over a three month period (which we decided would be the most we could accomplish and sustain our sanity) and that S definitely had to finish his program here, I would also have to go back to school and finish my Masters with some sort of work experience which will grant me a better job position then were we to stay here.

It seems that obtaining a J-1 Visa waiver when the visa is sponsored via Fullbright is near impossible. So beware those of you who are trying to accomplish this, chances are slim. Though, I suppose the contents of that is another post.

So, we're going to have to make do and make some adjustments to our next five and next ten years goals. Looks like we'll be going to Turkey sooner rather than later.

Marriage Ceremony

In the few hours I was able to squeeze in sleep this morning, before our big day, We shared a dream. I have no idea what I truly dreamed, because I was so tired that I just passed out. What I mean is that we shared our dream of a life time, where we promised to work together for our dreams, the very dreams we share in the long and short run. We've made our commitments long ago, in secret, between just the two of us, but today, we would be repeating our promise, commitment and dreams in front of a judge, a group of friends, among them people we count as family.

S and I have never been shy from one another, especially when it comes to honesty, communication, and sharing secret details about one another, including those extremely humiliating stories that could shame us to the grave and all the embarrassing things we've said since the beginning of our consciousness. By now, so much has happened that, we even know things about one another that we really ought not to, considering some of these were difficult things to accept, understand, relate and digest. Though we did and are closer for it as we truly were able to examine one another's mind, logic and truly come to see each others soul with all of its vibrant and dull colors, in all the shapes, forms and memories it carries with it. Besides, everyone is entitled to privacy and some of their own past, is bound only to them and should only be shared with the people concerning the particular experience of the past. On a brighter side, we've always been upfront about the things we wanted to have, we wanted to achieve. We were upfront about the things we desired of one another, the good details we found in one another and the expectations of each other, from each other and of our relationships. We shared the dainty, the firm, the solid, the leading, the ever changing and the never changing dreams one by one. We embellished them with our individualistic traits and then merged together to have one common goal, where our personal goals were realized, recognized and we had plans to work for them, to achieve for them. I and You and She an Her, became US and WE and WE had a plan for us and individually we knew of one anothers plan for the future.

To be able to marry the love of your life is an incredible lucky thing that should never go without being appreciated and always thanked for. Not many of us end up down the aisle with the people we both passionately love and feel we were destined to be, meant to be.

To have married you, to have meet you, to have married you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is true we had a fairy tale beginning and a fantastic growth, but it's also equally true we've had our share of troubles, difficulties and near impossible things we thought we couldn't get over. And yet today, we knowingly said I Do to a world of troubles that will be assaulting us, first thing in the morning. If you are with me though, no matter how rough, how difficult the storm, how high the mountain and how impossible the track is, we'll weather it through, because I've got my hands in yours, and you've got your eyes in mine.

To a happy, healthy, fulfilling life where the passion never dwindles and we grow with each other, against all odds.

Excitement

Tomorrow, I will be married. Today, I am elbow deep in food, grease, oil, and garlic, and sweat, trying to make these food items available to our guests.

I am happy, excited and so very tired. I can't believe we've gotten to today. It's been such a long walk, and we deserve this peace, piece of mind and happiness. It's great to be able to take a short break, even if it won't last for more than a day. But tomorrow is the day to be merry, happy and cheery.

I can't believe I will be marrying to the best man on this earth. To many years.

MK and SN to the Rescue

As we were desperately wondering about what to do about the venue part of our after ceremony question, SN and MK came to our rescue, offering their home, balcony and enormous backyard. I don't know what we would have done without it. I was growing desperate by the minute. At least, we now have a place, that is not just a place. It holds a meaningful connection to us and a wonderful place to be having a small reception.

Thank you MK and SN. We will never forget this.

Not As Planned

I wanted to have a wedding ceremony that was small, nonchalant and expense free--well, other than the license fees--and it seems like everybody else has other opinions on how our nuptials should be celebrated. Everybody from my mom to our friends, wants this big ordeal so that we can enjoy the beginning of our partnership. Although, I understand this, we will be having a wedding (much to my protests) and I just don't understand why we need to have to separate parties to celebrate the occasion?

It looks like I will have to wear that white dress, have flowers, do my hair and invite people to a party, I have no idea where I will be hosting!