To Heal

To heal, takes a long time in many different shapes and sizes, gradually, happening all at once, overlapping one another. It can't be really broken down to chapters like books or episodes of T.V. series. You have to do a little bit of everything eventually, even testing it out once more to see if you've healed, putting the healing you've done up to this point to risk, to further get hurt and taste pain.

So, I've been healing slowly and rather filled with bumps, due to my haste and impatience, a little bit of cowardice is included as well. But, slowly I am picking up the pieces, smoothing out the sharp edges, finding the right glue, figuring out where things go, properly and taking my time in between pieces, with little haste this time around. I've still got much left to go, but nothing beats the caring words of a close friend and the soft lap of a mother who only has warm things to say to you, even though they might be hard to hear at first due to self loathing, hating or whatever might be the case per individual case.

I've ever thought that where my parents will actually heal any part of me, physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically as it has been known to abuse me rather, with it's chaotic and crude nature and treatment of people. But this time around, it has done me somewhat well. It hasn't become sanctuary or anything, or rather, I have discovered a new sanctuary; my mother. So with it, brings new powers and new capabilities that I had overlooked. A new encouragement is something that many of us, including me don't appreciate.

I am determined to be healed thoroughly this time around.