Contract

It's a lot harder than people think it is to spit out what is in your heart. Especially to put them in eloquent words and have them make sense in a way that most people could understand and relate to. Doing all of this seems impossible when it seems like an extremely challenging task for one to truly feel something, genuinely and to recognize that feeling and do something about it. We hardly understand our feelings minutely. As Virginia Woolf once said, we only understand the nature of our own feelings in a backward glance (of course I paraphrased here). The greatest length one can come it seems to me lately is to discover one's own lengths and the depth in one's own soul; the light and the darkness. To know, to understand, to accept one as she or he is...and to properly react according to such knowledge...it's wisdom beyond age and something only so few people able are able reach and achieve.

So, what is in my heart, in the depthness of my soul? What is it that lies beneath what I see in the mirror? How do I reach it and how do I come to terms with it? Is acceptance of the bad applicable and the right, justified choice to have anyway? What does it say about human nature and our own views on it? What we think about good and bad, pure and evil? Is it better to know one's evil and accept it and move on then to continually to change the person one is, regardless of the truth one clearly sees day in and day out, through the double sided mirror, shining through the moonlight? Does that make you a liar..if so is that acceptable? Should one down in misery in hopes to be good by denying everything about one's self? Is it better to just go ahead and be happy and be this person who behaves badly?

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