Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I hope you all have a wonderful time with your family and friends, along with those you care for.

Why do I have this eerie feeling inside?
Why am I constantly anxious, and why is my ear constantly waiting for a whisper of words that will inevitable shatter my world?
I can't find rest, I am relentless and there is nothing I find peace in. I am lacking something big in my life, something is a miss and I am forced to wander around, amidst thins confusion and abyss.
Frankly, I am not sure what I could do, or should do for that matter.

The whole bus ride here, I have been thinking about a whole bunch of things and since late night yesterday, I've been on the verge of crying. I was really close to not actually taking the trip back home today, I didn't want to make the trip. I wanted to stay home and shy away from the world, hide and escape. go off to my own world.
I just...am not in the mood for anything although tomorrow is a religious holiday for me.
I should be overjoyed for the matter of fact that I am going home to see family and friends and eat my grandmother's delicious food...I can't find it in me to be ecstatic. I just can't....be what I thought I would be. It isn't working out.