Catching up to Life

*sigh*. Deep Breath. Whoo. What busy couple of weeks that was!

My time was filled both with joy and has left me with great memories to remember by. However, it has also left me a little tired, emotionally drained and well, while other things got done, some things got left out, unfinished, undone, incomplete. It seems I also have to catch up on other things that I had figured I'd always have down, like my prayers. But I am glad today that I was able to catch up with my prayers and home economics :) Little things around the home add up and can either decrease or increase peace and happiness I find at home... I am willing to bet nearly anything that it is also the same for anyone who views their living quarters as home, rather than just an apartment, house or some temporary living arrangements. The few moments I get to catch up, catch my breath and enjoy the peace, stability and freedom of living alone, the contentment I have from life are always welcome and never last long enough. And moments like these, I can do anything, as life seems like a cold river that just rushes down, peacefully though, as it takes in all the soil around it, integrating into the sea of life. I can take my time, read that book I've been putting off, rearrange my poetry and focus on an old letter that never got finished.

Life is good, thank you GOD.

Ne bicim birseysin sen oyle ya. Damladin, tap, tap, tap, farkina bile varmadan, sana ait kocaman bir okyanus olustu icimde.

Religion

Religion seems to be making a come back in many ways, in various countries. For the longest time, societies, communities, countries have tried to do without it. Some have gone even far enough to ban any kind of religious activity, affiliation. To an extent, I think lacking faith, not having anything to do with any kind of religious association is also easy. It gives the individual extra time to focus on personal goals, and other things to spend the time on. No religious affiliation means to certain obligations that you must adhere to be a part of the religion's creed. This also means that there are no certain duties you must perform, on certain days, for example like attending Sunday Sermons. There are also certain beliefs you must posses, like Karma, afterlife, hell, heaven, divinity and sins.This means you don't have to deal with thinking and acting according to the things mentioned in the line above. In short more freedom, more individual based at it's core and more choices. Religion can and does dictate the way one thinks about certain issues. None of that. It's a lot easier.

These also can carry heavy cannotations that comes with religion. The sacrifices each religion requires, no matter which sect, religion you belong to. Each set has their own promises, their own guidelines and the sacrifices you must give up in order to be clean enough to enter heaven, nirvana or whatever it might be for a particular religion.

However, religion can be very comforting. I think this is why religion has been making a come back for most of the societies which were rejecting it in the past generations. Comfort of knowing you can be forgiven. Figuring out there is some sort of purpose for your difficulties, toils and humiliation on this earth, other than character building. Knowing there will be rewards for your sacrifices, for your good habits, good deeds is also comforting. At least it's not all going to waste even if the people we do things for don't realize them. It's ever so comforting to feel and view life that way. Who doesn't want to be forgiven for the mistakes they've made?

For better or for worst, religion is coming back. How do you feel about that? I think what matters most is how you as an individual feel about it. Does that bother you, or is that something you're looking forward to? You must learn exactly what it is you feel towards religion, reconcile the differences between your mind and your heart and brace yourself according to your reaction. After all, what society is trending at that particular moment should not affect your own thoughts and principles. You should only embrace things that you have truly accepted in yourself.

Caffe Americano

Now, as a lover of espresso and bitter, strong, black coffee, I was always repulsed by the idea of caffee Americano. Adding water to espresso? Who would commit such a crime? Well, the theme of my week was making peace with old woes and things not liked, so caffee Americano was an easy point to score for me. It's like those easy classes you take to make sure your GPA won't drop below a certain point and that does not require a lot of work. So that kind of guarantees that spike of ego that you need in your weekly reminders. Yeah, a cheat class and this was my cheat point.
As you can imagine, I was shocked at taste of it. I prefer stronger coffee, but sometimes caffe Americano seems to me to be the perfect partner to that piece of cake, or those nights you might not need to stay up so late. Give it a try, don't be as judgmental as I was about it!

Sephora

Since I've started talking about make-up on here, which was unprecedented for my blog before; Sephora is a blog entry worthy store. It's impossible to talk about make-up without mentioned Sephora.

To begin with, I am not quite certain why I've decided to include my thoughts on make-up in general, but I have a feeling it has to do with my frustration about the judgment in regards to make-up and make-up users.

Recently, while venturing out to do my taxes, I was in the neighborhood of my local mall and have decided to stop by. Very unlike of me, but the sign of Sephora allured me in and I could not reject her call. Sephora has to be one of my favorite stores of all time and for many make-up lovers. There are so many positive things in Sephora that makes it impossible to hate. You can always get your make up done for free there, and there are endless number of make up brands that you can try out and ask questions to professionals about products, techniques and recommendations. The price varies like in any store, but after all it is a collection of high end make up brands so the prices can run high up. I don't recommend you do all of your make up and skin care shopping at Sephora, however it is a good store to give a good try.

Sephora brushes are good brushes to have, and they have cheaper versions of many make up related utensils such as; eye lash curlers, cellulose pads, eye brow groom kits and loads more.

In my recent trip, I think I ended up buying this eye brow groom kit, a Clinique acne clay mask (it's stress time for me and stress means break outs for me), several cellulose pads, a facial cleaner brush. I might have bought several other things, I just can't remember them at the time. Though the total ended up coming to a large sum, considering the number of things I bought, it was definitely a save. Though I could always use cheaper prices--who wouldn't?

So, if you're starting out to experiment with make-up, I recommend you go in, get a trial make up done, and look at all different kinds of make up brands and try them out in the store.

A Hunger Artist by Franz Kafka

Some time in April, I reread "A Hunger Artist" by Franz Kafka. I had understood it's value and importance. It had left a strong and precise impression on me before. My second time reading it though, my reactions for it were immensely deeper and although more intense, deeper. I hadn't taken the proper time needed for the story to settle in and let it sift it's way back up to me. I jumped to the next story in the collection. I tend to do that sometimes when I want to read all of the stories in the collection. Anyways, I am digressing.

A Hunger Artist by Franz Kafka, hands down has become one of my all time favorite short-stories. There is much there for the modern reader to interpret, walk away from and contrast to Kafka's own modern times and then to ours. Differences between Kafka's and our times are stark and unsettling.

Kafka's short-stories reach much like a newspaper in a way, almost as if matter of fact, reporting with lively details that leaves you longing for one more story at the end of it. Of course what I can read are always translations. Perhaps in German it's quite different. From first hand experience, I know the lost treasures in translations. Somethings, no matter how grand the translator cannot be translated. In those times, no translation is adequate and cannot do the justice the original rightly deserves. I believe Kafka is one of those writers.

His observations translate to the aching pains of his own adulthood, tension between his father and himself and the spiritual desire he has kept within himself, much to this father's disappointment. He writes subtly, effectively and with concrete parallels that he draws very tactfully, almost becoming inevitable in his writing style. Almost like a carefully written research paper, without any of it's boring elements.

A Hunger Artist is a must read for everyone. It makes one question about a billion things, but really the ineffective of our own sacrifices at times and as artists our own short comings and not to beguile ourselves with pride. Let's not forget the allegory of the story. Though I don't want to give away too much.

Can't quite explain

I can't quite explain myself clearly, concisely in a manner that is understandable. Besides the point that I don't understand myself completely in my ever changing phases and life experiences; it's also because, I am reluctant in the information I tend to divulge to others. I like to keep certain cards of myself to my chest. While I accept and embrace myself, I guess I am not quite comfortable with letting everyone see all of my cards. I also don't think it's quite wise to let everyone see everything. There are certain things that should be left to the individual to know, to relish and to be punished. Everyone cannot and in my opinion, should not know about you.

There are certain things about me that I wish them to remain in the past, a secret and intend to take them to my grave. They are not of national secret, obviously, so nothing truly interesting. Things that will, however have me undone in a more emotional way that I wish to keep them with me, to me at all times.

So, when it's like this, how do you explain yourself and expect others to understand you, or at least, at the minimum gain an understanding of your personality without your darkest, most desirable secrets?