Pride and Isolation

Pride can be a good thing to have sometimes. It allows you to save face and can be a preventative measure to not engage in acts you know you will suffer the consequences from. For those measures and extent, pride is great.

Though, like everything else in the world, too much of it is problematic and causes disasters.

I think many of us have been defeated by our egos, propelled by our pride. We've all been a tool for our own prides. We've all just have made mistakes on the part of pride. Hopefully we've learned from such things to move onto a better relationship with ourselves and the remaining of the human race.

Pride, eventually, when not settled in, checked and managed, leads to isolation. Pride in ourselves, pride in our abilities, pride from where we come from are great mechanisms for self motivations for better future for ourselves. But these thoughts eventually to the belief or conclusion, sometimes both, that we are better than the rest or at least most. While, I've never liked the idea of living so hand in hand with society, fashion, tradition and the ideals of the time for it's sake, it's also unhealthy and unwise to live outside of it completely. Exile and isolation are things that have heavy consequences to human nature. We are social animals and we require and desire the company of another human, humans most of the time. Isolation, though it can require some great works of art, it is never a long lasting resolution to any problem or dispute. For short while, it may be great. But deprivation of it makes us lose who we are, what we are, and most cases leads us to death either literally or figuratively.

Pride is like a cage where it makes us withdraw into ourselves. While being self dependent, reliant and being able to solve our own problems, overcome our mistakes and console our own miseries (really, all are very admirable qualities) there are things we can't always do on our own. At the end if we let pride color our choices and it's cage set limits on human interaction we'll always be misunderstood by others because of our refusal to let them in it, share our world with them. At the end, we'll be the ones alone and left to die without anyone's realization, like Kafka's hunger artist.

Kipir kipir, bicir bicir, oldu icim. Bu heyecana ben mani olamiyorum ama.

Primers

I probably should have mentioned this along with my foundations entry, I forgot but, alas here we are.

Now, I don't use foundations often. I probably use it less then 20% of the time. I just don't feel the need to use foundation, considering my age and well, I try to take care of my skin, with it I don't find the need to cover up my own skin. But, if you are going to use foundation, I highly recommend you use a primer. It fills in the pore and prepares your face for the foundation, creating a layer between your face and your foundation. Also it smooths out any wrinkles and uneven surfaces, giving you a better finish. Some primers have a dewy finish, some are more drier. Choose the one that fits your skin most.

Like foundation, because primer is something I don't use often, but that is a crucial part of make up when applied I believe it's worth to spend extra bucks to have a greater pay off. There are loads of primers out there, some are better than others and while some suits others betters. You're going to have to experiment and try it on your own skin to make a decision that suits your needs and fits your requirements best.

My top primers are:

Laura Mercier. I was about 16-17 when I went to my Senior Prom. I got my make up done professionally for the first time and it was the first time I was introduced to primers. Needless to say, I fell in love with primers shortly after and became an irreplaceable part of my foundation trio. (Primer, foundation, powder). A little drop goes a long way. The quality, the feel and the price are not bad.

For your eyes, though I don't quite like eye primers. I don't use eye primers for my daily and even for most of my important events. Though they are great, I just don't think they're that necessary most of the time. For your daily make up, I don't think it's necessary to use a eye make up primer, and for other times, I think a great base is more effective than a primer. However, having a good eye primer does and can come in handy for those extra special days and events where you won't have the chance to touch up and it's important to have a more color brightness to your make up because you are going to be photographed and or be on film, like if you are going to be in a make up or have your portrait taken.

So for those special important days that are bound to happen at least several times a year I recommend the following primers
Too face shadow insurance or Urban Decay primers. These are tried out and have not failed. They are always on top sellers and are primers that many people always recommend and talk about. I don't think I've meet a single person who has not like these two primers.

Like I said these are not necessary all the time, but having a good eye primer can go a long way and give you that extra confidence in your photos.

Streets of Madison

Madison streets are notorious for me. Beautiful and healing, there is this property of quality I can't quite explain to others, or even to myself, quite ironically disregarding my ability of describing things in detail and skills (or lack there of) at writing. It's like rediscovering your favorite band that you've forgotten about, or the pictures you've taken, left to turn yellow in your photo box, somewhere, deep in the corner of your closet. Rediscovery is probably what it most symbolizes, most perfectly--or as near it as it can get.

It's like finding some sort of great treasure, you've missed before hand. You just didn't have the eyes that required to see it's beauty yet. Yet, though six months later, you'll stand there, having immensely grown, equipped with a pair of eyes that will see through the opaque and the transparent alike, with a great taste of art in it's essence. You'll end up rediscovering not only yourself, but life in general.

Tasinacagim

Insan tasinicam demeye kalmasin, ne kadarda cabuk soguyor mus kendi evinden? O kadar duzeninden vaz gecip, nasilda fikrini degistirebiliyormus verdigi emekler hakkinda? Simdi kendimi evimden disari atmaya bakiyorum. Burdan tasinmaya desek aslinda cok daha dogru olur.

Dizi izlerken kendinden gecmek demek bu oluyor herhalde.

Ilk once bir suru, yuk ekledim kendi omuzlarima, teker teker. Hepsini ust uste sigdirdim, taaa o masmavi goge varana kadar, Bulutlardaydi benim yuklerim, ama beni ise, her seferinde yerin dibine biraz daha gomdu. Santim, santim. Oysaki, ben aslinda bir kus kadar hafif olup, bir su kadar ozgur olmanin hayllerinin pesindeydim. Yerim, yurdum olmadan, gocebe bir hayatin verdigi haz, tatmin ve simulasyonla, yolumdaki cicekleri yeserte yeserte hayatimin yolunu cizmeye karar vermistim. Sonra, bilmedigim bir suru yukte eklemisim. Yasadikca, yasim arttikca, bu hayattaki tecrubelerim beni biraz daha insanlarina rasinda karistirip, biraz daha bu dunyanin elinde kasarlandikca. Ama bilseydim ki, kendime neleri neleri yapiyorum diye, hic bunlara bastan baslamazdim. Ama iste, agir geldi kendi ellerimle yukledigim tum o agir yukler. O kulfetler, o bedeller, bana inanilmaz agir geldi. Onlarla basetmek benim dunyami karartti.

Simdi, o yukleri atar oldum, teker teker, tipki onlari kendi ellerimle ilk basta koydugum gibi. Yerine, elbette baskalari geliyor, geldi ve gelecek. Bu ise hayatin kacinilmaz bir gercegi. Ama, elbette birakipta bir daha koymayacagim bir suru yuk olacak. O ise ayri. O ise baska bir dava :)

Ama simdi, sen. senle beraber, icimde hic tanimlamadigim, oldugundan habersiz bir yukumun farkina vardim, ve onuda atmaya basladim, gram gram, gidim gidim, ve tekrardan hurriyetimin kapisinin onundeyim, senle ise, ramak kaldi tekrardan ozgurlugume merhaba demeye.