New Moms

New Moms...what a difficult phase in life. Your body is totally different, its almost not your own.

There is a new member of your life and your whole life has just changed course, its pacing has changed, forever.

Some women have help from wonderful family and friends and an encouraging, helpful, eager to learn husband/partner/wife, etc. Some women only can relay on one person, and one person only. Some women are entirely alone, without any help, any guidance, anyone there to comfort them, completely alone, independent and on their own.

Some women come into the territory as prepared as possible. True, you can never be as prepared as you think you can be solely by taking parenting classes, birthing classes, reading books, articles and studies, changing your diet, your lifestyle, watching videos and participating in online discussion boards, having a close relationship with your doctor who can answer medically related questions for you and can help you in the medical field. But these things exist for a reason and it can prepare you plenty. It can prepare you to the kinds of stuff you may need, you may feel and you may face. The information you'd be too frantic to see, even clear basic ones. An overall, general understanding that can allow you to troubleshoot and ask the right kind of questions, when to realize what is an emergency and what is not.

Women like Banu, think that it is entirely instinctual. They do not think that picking up a book, reading about it, going online researching or asking questions to their doctors are necessary or even needed.

Then, we see the differences between New Moms, who are capable of doing things themselves rather than relying on people who are around to do things for them (when lucky enough).

Recent Realizations

It's strange; sometimes comedic, sometimes ironic that how much our perspectives change in the world. The truths we've known, understood and accepted change. We change and the world around us changes. The world changes, sometimes moving forward and sometimes aggressively regressing back and we change too along with it, to keep up, to understand, to be undone so we can be a better version of ourselves.

A year ago in January, I was at a very different place emotionally, intellectually. I am so different than the person I was that day. The way I looked at the world, love. The way I felt the world. My experiences had built a different coloring palette and I only knew how to see through those eyes. Things I had known, yearned, desires didn't stay the same across the board. They changed when one person entered my world. I changed along with that person and world.

The way I experience is, well, quite different than I used to. But it isn't so different that it no longer rings true or original. It's warmer and fiercer. It's more emphatic and wiser. Definitely more grown up. The world is softer, kinder and sometimes, even helpful. Sometimes, things do go my way. Not often, but sometimes. Graciously enough for me to recognize the pattern. I can sigh and that can be not for bad purposes, and be in fact, quite the contrary to that.

Truths have a way of being wobbly and swishy and the "never" has a way of entering so seamlessly, smoothly, it's almost a criminal action. Just not enough, because it isn't so volatile and violent.

I wonder how much of a different place I would be next January?

Life, I've grown more fonder of you than I was before. I didn't think such a thing could ever be possible, or possessed by the likes of me.