Persistence

Problems often originate from multiple sources and only compound overtime. That's really just how things work. Usually, even multiple, they are small, no one wants to bring up minuscule problems, because then we would be clingy. Where is the understanding and tolerance we often speak about and read in articles? Sometimes we believe things will smooth over time. Usually they never do, or we run out of patience before they do. Sometimes the other person is oblivious to what it is he or she is doing wrong.

Problems persists in one way or another. The problems can be interchangeably used here. One problem will be solved and soon enough, there will be another, whether something that arises out of circumstances, changes, or personal history. Or, any other category.

Life has been about persistence for me. Persistence to survive, persistent depression that perennially assaults me, persistence of heart break, persistence to play puzzle with my life. It's always being brought to a blank canvas in the middle of a puzzle, I am sometimes enjoying, somethings dragging myself through. No matter.

So persistence to be aware, to be diligent and to allow time to sink in issues and problems. What else is there anyone can do?

Communication

In these past months, S and I have obviously learned much from one another and about one another. While many things generally mash, match up or line up well against one another in our habits, dreams and styles, a number of things are severely out of sync. That much is expected. While for the most part, we've been careful about our communication and the way we informed the other party about anything we wanted to. The inseminating of information is an art and, not everyone does it the same, nor is every path we take to it is equally efficient and capable.

Things up until recently have been in small doses and have been rather manageable much easier. This or that, we've hit some obstacles and we've learned to communicate for the better. I, for one have learned to be much more patient, much more careful and much more descriptive, as well as informative on how and when and why explain things. When I was younger, I had a bad habit of flaring up quickly, inability to take any kind of constructive criticism and without ever learning the truth and beauty of listening--but truly listening. Of course, I grew up from that little girl and have picked up listening habits that I had embraced along the way. Though, I truly come along way since then, it has been apparent that I still have ways to go. S, on the other hand has learned to be more reflective, thoughtful, detail oriented.  S never needing to learn to critically think and thoroughly assess his own life, mistakes, circumstances and the opportunities presented to him, he has never questions about the decisions he's made, actions he's taken and the opportunities he's been given, taken and those ones that he has unfortunately discarded. He's learned that people are also accountable for their viewpoints in life, such as; their thought patterns and the perspective they view gender, sex and romance from. Things that needs changing, tweaking and all together relearn.

Aside from the generalities, I've learned to cry in front of someone else and have learned to express my emotions both in the raw and censored as to help someone better understand me. This is a first and I am glad I've chosen the right person to do it with. S has learned that past carries undeniable consequences into the future that aren't just in our heads. We will all be held accountable for our past mistakes, in one way or another. The important thing is not to cause suffering towards our partner.