a little full and tired. feels a little empty on the inside.

Full and sealed tight shut.
It keeps piling up. While we grow afar, separate and hope that time stands still, minutes rush by us like the great northern wind.

Bir kahpe tokat gibi hayat carar yuzune,anlarsin tekrar tekrar o sezdiginin dogru oldugun, her ne kadar tamir etsende artik bir sey kirlmistir ve geri donusu yoktur. Hastadir, ve iyilesmesi mumkum degildir. Daha dogrusu, curumustur ve geri donus imkansizdir. Artik bir sekilde olecektir, kopacaktir ve bitecektir...o gune dek, tutunuyorsun, tutunursun sikica, ellerinin icinde tutup, gogsunde tutarsin, buyutursun butun sevginle...ama sen ne kadar goz yasi doksende, zamani dolmustur. Bitmeye mahkumdur.

the tiresome moments find cracks to seep in,
from the most vulnerable spots
the deadliest silence
Unsettling they are,
at first you don't catch them
then they grow on you and shock you endlessly
you learn to let go and live with them
then they're there all the time
it becomes hard to ignore it and turn the blind eye

Sometimes the day just doesn't start off right and on other days it starts off perfect.
Then, you just stumble to bring the rest of the day to a close. You just can't wait to go back home and fall into your couch, crash into your bottle of red wine, or bourbon, or gin or whatever it may be, and just do nothing but stare out of the window, to the white wall where there are no patterns to figure out. Just stay still and let it just all come undone, let it pause, be still, be quiet.
Sometimes day just starts off in that beautiful sunshine, with a goodnight's great sleep and wonderful dreams that you just can't bring your mind out of, you have a great breakfast, you get some early work done, cruise around on the net, your lover pays you a middle of the day visit, just because he can and he makes you fly to clouds and see the rainbow when it ain't raining. Then, it falls apart unknowingly, unsettlingly and without a notice. Then you just can't finish everything else that's on your to do list. It keeps compiling up and all you want to do is wrap a blanket around you and disappear into the night but the reality keeps calling and all you can do is divert it's attention for long enough while.

Poppies

red like poppies...a little hopeful and eccentric, a little shy to the moonlight.

so tired and extremely discouraged today.

time is fluid...one way though no matter how fluid it is.

icinde kopar isyan.