FOOOOOD

and i welcome change with open arms :D

Okay, something just shined out of the darkness to me, and really gave me the tiniest glimpse of hope.
It just clicked and made sense, and I can finally make everything logical about that. :D
Ah, going to a happy place is good.

feels like she should really begin writing that story she's had for years and years.

Al that really awaits any one individual is pain and suffering.

gitmek isteyene kal diyemezsinki

Life is a bitch, but that's not anything new for anyone in this day and age.
You can give it all, like I did. You can love from the very bottom of your heart, give them your entire being, and care for them with your soul and at the end sometimes it just doesn't matter to the person. They can easily end anything without looking back and thinking twice. All there is left for the person behind is to grieve, cry and mourn, then eventually at some point move on with their lives. As if that's possible. It's a lot easier to say then to accomplish.
I tried my very best with everything I had, I was attentive, I cared, and more...but at the end easily it was shattered.
You can be left with questions as much as you want, and you can console yourself saying in the future, but really all you're left is the bitter feelings of the aftertaste and future is uncertain. Good or bad things come, it is a fifty fifty and no one can guarantee you a better time, a better person and happiness. Most likely things will get complicated as time goes on and you are left with the scars to live with after all that you have shared and lived through. It becomes nearly impossible to look at life, love and relationships after each hit, each battle. It becomes harder to believe, to truth, to be certain of....It is a fleeting world after all.

bitti artik hersey, her ne kadar benim canim acisada, her ne kadar goz yaslarim aksada, hayatimdaki en guzel ruyam biti verdi hemde ben hic anlamadan.
sevinemiyorum, ustumden yuk kalkmis gibi hissedemiyorum...
sadece geriye kalan huzun ve husran

Canin acisada, devam ediyor hayat herseyiyle, sana ragmen, inadina hayat yeseri binbir renge boyanmaya, inadina mutlu olmaya devam ediyor.
En mutsuz en zor gunlerinde hersey ust uste gelip biraz daha seni yorar, biraz daha seni senden alip, neler gotururmus senden. Geriye taki senden geriye, sana ait hic birsey kalmayana kadar. Ne kokun, ne duygularin, ne hislerin, nede ruhun. Taki hepsini son damlasina kadar icine kadar.

Yandi gene burgazim cayir cayir tipki benim kalbim gibiii

hickira hickira aglamak istiyorum

cani cok ama cok yaniyor.
biraz mutluluk kursaginda kalmasimi gerekirdi? Yavas yavas karanliga gomulmeye hazirlaniyor. Cunku yapraklarla degisen bu sevda, geriye yerini derin yaralara birakipta gidiyor, gun isigi az daha isitirken, biti veriyor bu ask...
belkide ilk gunden beri tek tarafliydi ...belki degil bilemyorum. ama yolculugumuz esnasinda birsey birseyler bir cok sey degisti...acik tutsam bile gozlerimi yakaliyamadim..kacirdim.
Sende kapattin
Bunu haketmedim ben.

it hurts and i can't do anything about it.
I wish things didn't end up this way.

kalbim, yarim,
gonlum eksik,
gulusum bile tam degil
cekiniyorum sen yoksun diye
icten bile gulemiyorum
sanmaki aklimi bir saniye bile birakiyorsun
degil uyanikken
uykuda bile ruhum senle

yarim kaldim, imkansiz baska birseyle doldurmam bunu. ne esya ne insan ne dusunce baska hic birsey yerini dolduramaz.
Ne aci diner, nede sizi yavaslanir.
Goz yaslari sessizlige mahkum olur, sende benim saklim olursun.
ama yazik oldu

kalbinin pili bitmek uzere

Aksamin soguk karanligina dogru yavasca ilerliyor

acinin sarhosuyum...

i want the pain to stop

my heart aches so deeply....